Need Advice-SS wetting bed
Question:
On Tue, 28 Dec 1999 13:03:09 -0600, Lynn Davis <lynnr…@netscape.net> wrote: >merrie wrote: >> For what it’s worth, >Thank you Merrie…it’s worth alot to me!!! >I just called JC Penney’s and they have >a waterproof mattress cover for $5.99, so >I can make a quick trip there and be done with >this part of it anyway …
Having an almost 14 year old SS who still wets the bed, let me please advise you buy the vinyl cover that zips up and covers the entire matress. The ones that just tuck under like a bottom sheet seem to get destroyed within a week. They’re under $10 at Walmart. Good luck, Nicole ***** I have gone looking for myself. If I return before I come back, please let me know I’m looking for myself. My Homepage: http://www.fastbytes.com/users/cinirb/ *****
Response:
Karla, Thank you for the URL. I was feeling very isolated about dealing with this problem, but with the responses I’ve received, I feel ALOT better. Lynn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Karla wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > Lynn Davis wrote: > > My dilemma: what do "we" (my DH?) do about this? > Here’s the site for the National Kidney Foundation’s bedwetting FAQ: > http://www.kidney.org/general/news/bedwetfaq.cfm > It’s one of the first places I send folks to when they ask about bed > wetting. I know that a lot of bed wetting and bowel accidents are > usually physical problems with psychological triggers. > Once the body stops missing the cues for basic things (ie waking up to > use the toliet), you have to re-train yourself until you can read the > cues. It is often why one of the first suggestions is to wake a child > up at a regular time (say 10pm) consistently to use the bathroom. > You’re retraining the body. After a while, the natural rhythms begin to > be heard again and the problem goes away. > Stress and trauma are some of the triggers. But no matter what the > trigger, it does turn into a physical problem. The key is really a two > fold approach with some counseling (short or long term) and retraining > the body. > Hope that helps > karla
Response:
merrie wrote: > For what it’s worth,
Thank you Merrie…it’s worth alot to me!!! I just called JC Penney’s and they have a waterproof mattress cover for $5.99, so I can make a quick trip there and be done with this part of it anyway …
Response:
Lynn, My son wet the bed for many, many years. I believe it was because his dad and I separated when he had just begun toilet training, and so I believed that it was an emotional issue. His pediatrician told me that it was common for boys and not to worry about it. Interestingly, since we moved here and I was married, he has not wet the bed once!! Anyway, I would guess that there may be something physically wrong with your SS — maybe a urinary tract infection or trouble with his sleeping. I don’t think that it is as common place for teenage boys to do this without a "reason". If it were behavioral acting out, then he wouldn’t hide it from you, and he would hardly try to protect the mattress himself. I would suggest a few things….. First, place the plastic mattress cover on — it will probably relieve your SS to know that it is there, and it will help to contain the constant odor. Then, I would call his pediatrician and discuss it with him/her. Finally, I would decrease the embarrassment for your SS by having your DH ask him about this — is he feeling alright, does he have any burning or pain when he urinates, any trouble sleeping, etc. If you address it, he will probably feel embarrassed — understandably so. Good luck — I know personally that this issue can be a difficult one. Didi Mother to Caitlin, 10, Patrick, 8, Meagan, 6, and Step-mother to Kayla, 7. "A dead thing can go with a stream, only a living thing can go against it." G.K. Chesterton
Response:
For what it’s worth, Younger SS (15.5) had this problem also. At one time (he was 10), a therapist told him that it’s because he sleeps so deep due to stress that he doesn’t wake up and use the toilet. I don’t think this helped him try to stop. We went the doctor route and he tried the nasal spray. One time, DH asked him how he keeps from wetting the bed when he goes to visit a friend’s house. He said that he doesn’t drink anything after 6pm because he’s really scared of being embarrassed. DH asked him to extend the courtesy to our home too. At that point, I realized that my efforts to help him stop were pointless. He knew how to stop. I have left it to him. At one time the mattresses had a cover and was protected, but he had done something to it that resulted in it being shredded. The mattress will go when he goes. If you have a desire to protect the mattress or think SS can appreciate a cover, just buy one and put it on. Since SS takes care of his own laundry – he can take it from there. If he wants to discuss it, he’ll go to you or his dad. Show him the sheets with the blue stain and tell him you figured out that the mattress bleeds when exposed to moisture. Merrie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lynn Davis wrote in message <3868DF3E.6111F…@netscape.net>… >Hi, >It’s been awhile since I’ve last posted … to give a recap of >my situation … I’m a CSP to two SSs (13 and 14). I’ve been >married to DH for just over a year. I have no children of my >own. >Well, here’s the situation. The boys have been visiting >with BM for about a week. Since we might be having >company spend the night for NY’s eve, I changed the bed >linen on both boy’s beds. SS#1’s (the 14 1/2 year old) >bottom bed sheet had a big urine stain on it and he’d put >a fleece blanket underneath the bottom sheet. My thought >is that this happens regularly and he’s using the blanket >to protect the mattress. >Both boys do their own laundry, so I generally don’t see >their bed linen. As I was pondering this situation, I >remembered a time when we’d just moved into our house, >had new bed linen for SS#1’s new bed (rather expensive too) >and when I went to launder them, there was a big stain >on his sheets. It had a blue edge to it … which I >couldn’t figure out. When we asked SS#1 >how the stain got there, he didn’t know. The sheets >are a natural(off white) color and the mattress is blue. >So now I’m thinking that, that too, was a bed wetting incident >and the mattress color bled through to the sheets, staining >them in the process. I haven’t been able to get those >stains out of the sheets, either. Which perhaps explains >why SS#1 is putting a fleece blanket underneath his >bottom sheet, so the mattress color doesn’t bleed through >again? >My dilemma: what do "we" (my DH?) do about this? >I asked DH if SS#1 wets the bed and he says, not that >he knows of. I showed him what I found (I didn’t go >into all of the details) and he didn’t respond with >ANY thoughts of how to handle / approach the >situation. The standard, ‘head in the sand’ response. >So of course, this is weighing heavily on >my mind, especially as the boys return on Sunday. >This boy has some behavior problems and I wonder how >much the bed wetting plays into it … I’m sure this >is hard on his self-esteem… >From a practical standpoint, should I buy a plastic >lined mattress pad, to protect the mattress from >smelling even more like urine? If DH doesn’t talk >to SS#1 about this, would this be even more >embarassing/humiliating to come home from X-Mas >vacation and find a plastic lined mattress pad >on your bed? >How do I bring this up with DH again? How do I get >him to see he needs to address it, in some fashion? >I keep holding off, waiting for the "right" moment, >(whatever that is), to bring it up…I guess my fear >is he won’t want to discuss this at all with SS#1. >Geez, if this was my child, I’d have no problem >discussing this, as I’d be so concerned with how >it’s affecting him; but he’s not … *heavy sigh* >and I feel like I don’t really know him that well, >even though we’ve lived together for over a year. >We don’t have that great of a relationship >together (my opinion), as he is such a pain to >be around. >Help! Thank you for listening… >Lynn
Response:
Hi, It’s been awhile since I’ve last posted … to give a recap of my situation … I’m a CSP to two SSs (13 and 14). I’ve been married to DH for just over a year. I have no children of my own. Well, here’s the situation. The boys have been visiting with BM for about a week. Since we might be having company spend the night for NY’s eve, I changed the bed linen on both boy’s beds. SS#1’s (the 14 1/2 year old) bottom bed sheet had a big urine stain on it and he’d put a fleece blanket underneath the bottom sheet. My thought is that this happens regularly and he’s using the blanket to protect the mattress. Both boys do their own laundry, so I generally don’t see their bed linen. As I was pondering this situation, I remembered a time when we’d just moved into our house, had new bed linen for SS#1’s new bed (rather expensive too) and when I went to launder them, there was a big stain on his sheets. It had a blue edge to it … which I couldn’t figure out. When we asked SS#1 how the stain got there, he didn’t know. The sheets are a natural(off white) color and the mattress is blue. So now I’m thinking that, that too, was a bed wetting incident and the mattress color bled through to the sheets, staining them in the process. I haven’t been able to get those stains out of the sheets, either. Which perhaps explains why SS#1 is putting a fleece blanket underneath his bottom sheet, so the mattress color doesn’t bleed through again? My dilemma: what do "we" (my DH?) do about this? I asked DH if SS#1 wets the bed and he says, not that he knows of. I showed him what I found (I didn’t go into all of the details) and he didn’t respond with ANY thoughts of how to handle / approach the situation. The standard, ‘head in the sand’ response. So of course, this is weighing heavily on my mind, especially as the boys return on Sunday. This boy has some behavior problems and I wonder how much the bed wetting plays into it … I’m sure this is hard on his self-esteem… From a practical standpoint, should I buy a plastic lined mattress pad, to protect the mattress from smelling even more like urine? If DH doesn’t talk to SS#1 about this, would this be even more embarassing/humiliating to come home from X-Mas vacation and find a plastic lined mattress pad on your bed? How do I bring this up with DH again? How do I get him to see he needs to address it, in some fashion? I keep holding off, waiting for the "right" moment, (whatever that is), to bring it up…I guess my fear is he won’t want to discuss this at all with SS#1. Geez, if this was my child, I’d have no problem discussing this, as I’d be so concerned with how it’s affecting him; but he’s not … *heavy sigh* and I feel like I don’t really know him that well, even though we’ve lived together for over a year. We don’t have that great of a relationship together (my opinion), as he is such a pain to be around. Help! Thank you for listening… Lynn
