Second time father needs advice on potty training
Question:
Karen writes:
I have a 3 1/2 year old son who has been day potty trained for about 8 months now. Our family has went through alot of changes lately, so I havn’t been too concerned about nighttime. Occasionally I would mention something about the pull up he wears at night. Last week though, I figured it was time. I just told him that he was a big boy now and he didn’t need the diaper. That if he woke up during nighttime he could just go into the bathroom. So far he’s only had one night when he wet the bed. We didn’t make a big deal about it. I heard him up at 4 in the morning. I walked into his room and he said, "my underwear are wet mommy". I changed him, flipped his comforter around and put a blanket over the wet spot. He went right back to sleep. I think that if you keep the nighttime diapers on for too long that they become too much of a security for them.
I do not agree. I hurried my earlier children out of night time nappies (diapers) and had to go back to them for the oldest two until they were nearly 5 and 4.66 respectively. I was more realxed with the third child and he was out of nappies day and night by the time he was 3.5. I shall follow the same approach with number 4. I also have quite a lot of experience of dealing with much older children – boys – because my husband is a housemaster at an English boarding school 13-18 year olds and I deal with the domestic side of the House. We have had several boys who wet their beds and have come to us very tense and worried after pressure from mothers, nannies or matrons of previous schools. Most of these boys have been boarding from 7 years old and have had to cope with nightly wet beds. I have found that offering a little relaxed sympathy has helped them all and reduced the wetting very considerably. Our present bedwetter -13.5 – was so unhappy about it that he was in fact trying to hide his wetting by using disposable nappies when he first came. When I offered to let him have some nappies and plastic pants and wash them with my children’s his relief was so great he burst into tears and since then he has in fact had an increaasing number of dry nights though he says he was always wet before. In short I would strongly advise being as laid back, cool and unconcerned as possible – easier with other people’s children I know – and using nappies for as long as a child wants them.
Response:
My son, now 17, potty-trained himself as soon as the suggestion was brought up to him at the age of 2. Later, around the age of 8, he began to wet the bed at night. We took him to numerous urologists, had his bladder checked out, etc. Finally, one doctor informed me that some children are missing a hormone and this causes bedwetting. He assured us it would all be over as soon as the kid hit puberty. Evidently if they haven’t developed the hormone before then, the onset of puberty brings this about. For five years we waiting, changing sheets and hoping the doctor knew what he was talking about. He was right. My son quit wetting the bed at 13. Hope this helps those of you who are experiencing this problem. Just hang on, it will be alright. Making the child feel that it’s no big deal is the best thing to do in the meantime. Minc Bumgarner
Response:
Sorry – I realise my earlier note was posted in my husband’s name Please excuse my unfamiliarity with his toys. I think I also sent it twice under what did not look like a very explicit heading when it arrived. I hope this will draw attention to my earlier posting for anyone worried about this whom my experience might help. Good luck to all dealing with this aspect of childhood Gillian Hartley
