Anyone like me? Need some help =(

Sleeping Disorder » Insomnia » Anyone like me? Need some help =(

Question:

"The Krypton Index" <f.e.daan…@chello.nl> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->~life is a bitch with aids and then you keep on living~ >feeling the emptiness inside >constantly wishing i had died >half of my life gone to waste >depression has taken the smile off my face >people are cruel >people are wicked >people are ignorant >people are basically rotten >they kick u where it hurts when u are down >then alienate u because u walk around with a frown >nobody understands, let alone do they care >all they do is gossip behind your back and stare >i am hated >i am surrounded by assholes >i am broke >i have learned to enjoy my misery because that is all i have ever had >how’s about u? >are u addicted to something too? >are u chronically depressed/miserable too? >doesn’t anybody care or understand u either? >are u alone and constantly being ignored? >does thesocial rejection burn on the inside too? >does death keep whispering commands in your ear? >feeling empty inside, powerless even. >every single day is a fuckin bitch >life = suffering >people = shit >you = nobody >the moral of the story i am trying to illustrate is simple: >->expect nothing from nobody [they don't care about you] >->make the best of your misery [art,literature,poetry,etc] >->make the best of your life or is left of it [go for yourself] >…instead of living in lala land and constantly dwelling in your own pit of >self destruction, please exploit that lost anger and endless suffering and >make something positive out of all that negative energy…you will be >surprised of the things a depressive/suffering mind can concoct when it is >under stress and in constant pain…….. trust me i know! >enjoy your pain.

Eric – can you convert this to rap for the enjoyment of the group?

Response:

Kryp. It is not about THEM. It is about YOU and how you choose to view things. If you allow people to bother you, you will be miserable. They are not going to go away unless you decide to learn to have a different view of them and their relationship to you. — Val in Boise

Response:

>Subject: Re: misery >From: "Val in Boise" vjstan…@cableone.net >Date: 4/11/02 9:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time >Message-id: <ubb4g7rmv4k…@corp.supernews.com> >Kryp. It is not about THEM. It is about YOU and how you choose to view >things. If you allow people to bother you, you will be miserable. They are >not going to go away unless you decide to learn to have a different view of >them and their relationship to you. >– >Val in Boise

maybe so..but i think its basically true that a lotta people suck–don’t give a fuck and just don’t get it….and if u have social anxiety it’s impossible to not let people get to you…and trying to change is real fuckin hard… jessie

Response:

Can anyone tell me if the above newsgroups have a "gateway" e-mail address? Thanks. –Ken (please don’t respond unless you know what I’m referring to—thanks)

Response:

I have social anxiety, too, and avoid so much, and it makes me feel like shit. There is so much I want to do, but just can’t get myself to do most of it….so I really know how you feel. I barely made it through high school, and quit college because I was afraid to do the work and turn it in. I went to tech school before that, and dropped out. I spent more time alone in the cafeteria than in class because I was afraid of having to speak in front of anyone. I just started thearapy again, and I hope it helps. It just kills me inside to think of everything I’m missing because I can’t make myself get out there and have some fun! Jenn. "Ixion" <n…@spam.net> wrote in message

news:7eCs8.2156$CA6.170489@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "SqUiGgLeS" <squig…@sympatico.ca> wrote in message > news:3CB0A44A.D0D11E0@sympatico.ca… > > Dear David, > > Welcome to the group; I don’t mean to sound trite, > > but you have tried getting a dog? Seriously, pets > > can make you feel very needed and distract you from > > your problems, until you get the right meds of course. > Hiya, > Sorry that I’m a little late here responding, but my computer decided to > break on me. *frowns* > Unfortunately my landlord doesn’t allow pets. I have a dog named Belle > (chihuahua) and I love her very much, but she’s staying over my mother’s > house. Yeah, hehe, my mother got stuck with her. > David

Response:

~life is a bitch with aids and then you keep on living~ feeling the emptiness inside constantly wishing i had died half of my life gone to waste depression has taken the smile off my face people are cruel people are wicked people are ignorant people are basically rotten they kick u where it hurts when u are down then alienate u because u walk around with a frown nobody understands, let alone do they care all they do is gossip behind your back and stare i am hated i am surrounded by assholes i am broke i have learned to enjoy my misery because that is all i have ever had how’s about u? are u addicted to something too? are u chronically depressed/miserable too? doesn’t anybody care or understand u either? are u alone and constantly being ignored? does thesocial rejection burn on the inside too? does death keep whispering commands in your ear? feeling empty inside, powerless even. every single day is a fuckin bitch life = suffering people = shit you = nobody the moral of the story i am trying to illustrate is simple: ->expect nothing from nobody [they don't care about you] ->make the best of your misery [art,literature,poetry,etc] ->make the best of your life or is left of it [go for yourself] …instead of living in lala land and constantly dwelling in your own pit of self destruction, please exploit that lost anger and endless suffering and make something positive out of all that negative energy…you will be surprised of the things a depressive/suffering mind can concoct when it is under stress and in constant pain…….. trust me i know! enjoy your pain.

Response:

yes i can relate to all of this i got depressed when i was 15 and i left school at 16 but didnt go to colledge or anything and isolated my self from the world and then now i have no social life at all . i miss socialising alot and making jokes with my mates but its so hard to make friend especially since i hardly go out. im 18 now and luckilly i have a talent for tennis and i play to national level so that is my proffession now but since i was 16 i didnt hit a ball for 2 years. and i picked a racket up just before christmas and i play regurlary now with a trainer and i am i tip top form however i still feel very depressed and its annoying. i wish i could be someone else all the time, i have a pictur in my head of who i want to be and its so unfair i will never be that person. i hate going out now because i feel like crap walking on my tod. anyway if you wanna talk to me more about your prob i wil listen cos i understand. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hello, >I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia >(also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my >depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get >depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing >anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. >Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some >fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I >dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and >depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost >in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the >rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its >really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to >college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of >the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see >couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy >them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." >and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow >old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing >home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better >life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a >great job..etc..you know, have a life. >The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all >those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. >I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low >self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father >and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they >went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love >getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only >alcohol wasn’t so addicting. >I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I >was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death >of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped >my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it >to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I >wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back >to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the >sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol >is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. >Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a >little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t >make sense, then I’m sorry. >David

Response:

you need to see s psychologist who specialises in SP "Ixion" <n…@spam.net> wrote in message

news:CF0s8.23354$nt1.1895021@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these > NGs anyway. > Hello, > I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia > (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my > depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get > depressed is because of my phobia problem.

Because it prevents me from doing – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. > Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some > fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I > dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and > depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost > in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the > rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its > really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to > college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of > the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see > couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy > them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." > and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow > old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing > home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better > life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a > great job..etc..you know, have a life. > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > alcohol wasn’t so addicting. > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > make sense, then I’m sorry. > David

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ixion wrote: > "SqUiGgLeS" <squig…@sympatico.ca> wrote in message > news:3CB0A44A.D0D11E0@sympatico.ca… > > Dear David, > > Welcome to the group; I don’t mean to sound trite, > > but you have tried getting a dog? Seriously, pets > > can make you feel very needed and distract you from > > your problems, until you get the right meds of course. > Hiya, > Sorry that I’m a little late here responding, but my computer decided to > break on me. *frowns* > Unfortunately my landlord doesn’t allow pets. I have a dog named Belle > (chihuahua) and I love her very much, but she’s staying over my mother’s > house. Yeah, hehe, my mother got stuck with her. > David

cool – i hope they enjoy each others’ companies. Squiggles — Truth has become a commodity. - Squiggles

Response:

Try some over-the-counter diphenhydramine (Benadryl) or doxylamine (Nytol) for the early-waking/insomnia. Naltrexone may help with the alcohol cravings– should they adversely affect your overall quality of life. Naltrexone also adds an antidepressant effect: "Salloum et al. studied 14 depressed patients who had been maintained on antidepressant therapy but who continued to drink heavily. The addition of naltrexone resulted in a reduction of drinking, no increase in adverse events, and a definite improvement in depression. That open-label study introduced the idea of combined pharmacologic treatment approaches for persons suffering from both alcohol dependence and depression." –Current Opinion in Psychiatry, January 2000 "Comorbid alcohol dependence and depression" Essential Link: http://www.biopsychiatry.com/alctreat.htm

Response:

"Eric Bentsen" <ebent…@rochester.rr.com> wrote: >I am reading this e-mail address: n…@spam.net >Any relation to nos…@nospam.com?

Nope.

Response:

"SqUiGgLeS" <squig…@sympatico.ca> wrote in message

news:3CB0A44A.D0D11E0@sympatico.ca… > Dear David, > Welcome to the group; I don’t mean to sound trite, > but you have tried getting a dog? Seriously, pets > can make you feel very needed and distract you from > your problems, until you get the right meds of course.

Hiya, Sorry that I’m a little late here responding, but my computer decided to break on me. *frowns* Unfortunately my landlord doesn’t allow pets. I have a dog named Belle (chihuahua) and I love her very much, but she’s staying over my mother’s house. Yeah, hehe, my mother got stuck with her. David

Response:

"The Squire" <the_squire_of_got…@my-deja.com> wrote in message

news:b62d31e8.0204071550.cd7f0d1@posting.google.com… > "Ixion" <n…@spam.net> wrote in message

<news:CF0s8.23354$nt1.1895021@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these > > NGs anyway. > > Hello, > > I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia > > (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my > > depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get > > depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing > > anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. > > Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some > > fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I > > dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and > > depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost > > in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the > > rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its > > really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to > > college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of > > the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see > > couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy > > them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." > > and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow > > old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing > > home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better > > life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a > > great job..etc..you know, have a life. > Ok, I can relate because I also have social phobia, but not to the > degree that you appear to (almost agoraphobic). I know it sucks, as > because of my "social phobia" I don’t approach women very often and in > the past I have shunned certain social situations. When I was younger > (18-20) it fucked up my scholastic career as I was too shy to go to > school and participate in groups, I dropped out. I’m 25 now and I can > tell you that I have gotten better, if only because of time. I still > don’t approach women, but I am going to school and and performing fine > outside of relationships with women. All I can tell is to hang in > there and keep pushing the proverbial envelope. Also, focus more on > yourself and not on what others are doing. I know its hard and I > don’t do this all the time myself, but if you keep comparing your life > to other’s you will go crazy. Someday you could be in their place, > with work. > > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > > alcohol wasn’t so addicting. > I also drank heavily and smoked pot heavily for six years (17-23). > Really, for me marijuana was nothing but a dead fucking end. Made me > stupid and anti-social, as most of my "true" pothead friends just sat > around, got high, and played video games. As far as drinking goes, I > think the reason why I found it so addicting was because it made me > into the person I hated and wanted to be, very confident, outspoken, > unawkard, worthy, etc, although at the same time I was drunk and > beligerent! I quit drinking except for occasionally going out and > having a few. If you keep drinking heavily to where you *feel* like > that person you want to be (for me it was 8-12 drinks) you’ll > eventually either die early or totally fuck up your life in the > process. There is no way you are going to get better if you rely on a > drug to do it for you. > > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. > Well, you *are* still getting high and drinking alcohol, correct? > This is probably not helping you make progess with the meds. If you > are going to get drunk and high while on meds you should just throw > away your meds because you’re wasting alot of money that you could use > to drink. As far as Celexa goes, I have experienced those effects, > but after time they lessened. > > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > > make sense, then I’m sorry. > > David > The Squire

Seems like we have a lot in common. If you want to keep in touch my e-mail is davidjg…@earthlink.net

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"Ixion" <n…@spam.net> wrote in message <news:CF0s8.23354$nt1.1895021@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>… > First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these > NGs anyway. > Hello, > I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia > (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my > depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get > depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing > anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. > Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some > fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I > dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and > depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost > in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the > rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its > really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to > college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of > the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see > couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy > them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." > and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow > old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing > home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better > life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a > great job..etc..you know, have a life. > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > alcohol wasn’t so addicting. > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > make sense, then I’m sorry. > David

Social Anxiety Therapy Programs: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/therapy.html Other info: http://www.crufad.com/selfhelp/socialphobia.htm

Response:

Ok, I can relate because I also have social phobia, but not to the degree that you appear to (almost agoraphobic). I know it sucks, as because of my "social phobia" I don’t approach women very often and in the past I have shunned certain social situations. When I was younger (18-20) it fucked up my scholastic career as I was too shy to go to school and participate in groups, I dropped out. I’m 25 now and I can tell you that I have gotten better, if only because of time. I still don’t approach women, but I am going to school and and performing fine outside of relationships with women. All I can tell is to hang in there and keep pushing the proverbial envelope. Also, focus more on yourself and not on what others are doing. I know its hard and I don’t do this all the time myself, but if you keep comparing your life to other’s you will go crazy. Someday you could be in their place, with work. > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > alcohol wasn’t so addicting.

I also drank heavily and smoked pot heavily for six years (17-23). Really, for me marijuana was nothing but a dead fucking end. Made me stupid and anti-social, as most of my "true" pothead friends just sat around, got high, and played video games. As far as drinking goes, I think the reason why I found it so addicting was because it made me into the person I hated and wanted to be, very confident, outspoken, unawkard, worthy, etc, although at the same time I was drunk and beligerent! I quit drinking except for occasionally going out and having a few. If you keep drinking heavily to where you *feel* like that person you want to be (for me it was 8-12 drinks) you’ll eventually either die early or totally fuck up your life in the process. There is no way you are going to get better if you rely on a drug to do it for you. > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this.

Well, you *are* still getting high and drinking alcohol, correct? This is probably not helping you make progess with the meds. If you are going to get drunk and high while on meds you should just throw away your meds because you’re wasting alot of money that you could use to drink. As far as Celexa goes, I have experienced those effects, but after time they lessened. > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > make sense, then I’m sorry. > David

The Squire

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ixion wrote: > First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these > NGs anyway. > Hello, > I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia > (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my > depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get > depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing > anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. > Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some > fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I > dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and > depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost > in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the > rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its > really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to > college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of > the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see > couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy > them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." > and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow > old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing > home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better > life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a > great job..etc..you know, have a life. > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > alcohol wasn’t so addicting. > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > make sense, then I’m sorry. > David

Dear David, Welcome to the group; I don’t mean to sound trite, but you have tried getting a dog? Seriously, pets can make you feel very needed and distract you from your problems, until you get the right meds of course. We just got a dog and we are so happy with her. The poor thing was marked PIT BULL X at the SPCA but she is really a mix of Brittany spaniel and Staffordshire – she is white and that scares people. My husband and I find great improvement both physically and mentally since we got her. She’s wonderful. I strongly recommend this – no guff. Squiggles — Truth has become a commodity. - Squiggles

Response:

I am reading this e-mail address: n…@spam.net Any relation to nos…@nospam.com? "Ixion" <n…@spam.net> wrote in message

news:CF0s8.23354$nt1.1895021@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these > NGs anyway. > Hello, > I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia > (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my > depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get > depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing > anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. > Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some > fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I > dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and > depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost > in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the > rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its > really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to > college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of > the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see > couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy > them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." > and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow > old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing > home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better > life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a > great job..etc..you know, have a life. > The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all > those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. > I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low > self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father > and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they > went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love > getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only > alcohol wasn’t so addicting. > I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I > was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death > of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped > my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it > to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I > wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back > to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the > sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol > is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. > Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a > little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t > make sense, then I’m sorry. > David

Response:

First of all sorry for the crossposting. I would have posted to all these NGs anyway. Hello, I’m 21 years old. Besides having bipolar disorder I also have Social Phobia (also called Social Anxiety Disorder). Social Phobia is worse then my depression. 10x worse to tell you the truth. I think the only reason I get depressed is because of my phobia problem. Because it prevents me from doing anything what I really want to do, besides sitting in my apartment all day. Like, for example, going out with the guys, dating girls, and having some fun. It just makes me feel like crap and I feel down because of that. I dropped out of High School when I was 16 because my Social Phobia and depression was at an all time high and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I lost in touch with most of my friends at the time and isolated myself from the rest of the world for quite awhile. I won’t go into how long because its really embarrassing. I’m just finishing up my GED now so maybe I can go to college finally in the fall. I still find it very difficult to go out of the apartment or to even pick up the phone. I feel so bad when I see couples walking down the street, especially young married couples. I envy them so badly its pathetic. I think to myself "that could have been me." and "Will I ever find love and happiness?" I worry that I’m going to grow old and alone without a wife and children and eventually end up in a nursing home to die with no one to take care of me. Everyone seems to have a better life then me..their dating/engaged/married….going to college…have a great job..etc..you know, have a life. The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. When I drink, all those fears and worries fade away and I finally feel like a normal person. I feel good about myself and feel very confident. Normally I have very low self-esteem because I was consistently being mentally abused by my father and by my peers (because I was a lot shorter then everyone else and they went out of their way to make fun of me.) when I was growing up. I love getting high, I know its sick and all but I really do. *sigh* if only alcohol wasn’t so addicting. I’ve been on so damn many anti-depressants in the last 4 1/2 years, when I was finally diagnosed with what I have now, that I’m getting sick to death of taking them. None of them seem to help. Last week my psychiatrist upped my dose of Wellbutrin SR to 100mg and she also added 20mg of Celexa with it to help with the phobia. The only damn problem with the Celexa is that I wake up in around 2 am every morning now like clockwork and can’t fall back to sleep no matter how hard I try. I end up staying up to watch the sunrise. The bad part is that I’m tired most of the day now. So far alcohol is the only real ‘medication’ thats helping me get through all this. Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m glad I got it off my chest just a little. I typed what was coming into my head at the moment so if it doesn’t make sense, then I’m sorry. David