Does anyone really take the time to care? -insomnia
Question:
Jennifer, Much of what you have gone through has been my experience, too. The doctors are focussing on the depression because sleep disorders are a major symptom of depression. Depression is the result of an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Sometimes it takes many weeks and trying different antidepressants to find the right one for you. You can also be on a particular antid. for a while and it is working just fine, when you experience "breakthrough" depression. Then you need to try out other antid’s again. In my own case, depression has a hereditary factor. There have been several suicides in my family. Many things can cause depression. Stress, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, lifestyle changes, changes in health, and many more. Personally, seeing a psychiatrist was not useful at all. It was expensive and he didn’t see that my depression was not a mental disorder, but was a brain chemical imbalance. I still have some sleep disorders, and have recently changed antidepressants. I am also under a tremendous amount of stress right now, and I know that is a major factor in my sleep disorders. I encourage you to try to find a doctor who can help you with your depression. And I believe that your problems with insomnia will diminish. Good luck. — Robin in Montana – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jennifer Hermann wrote: > I have had insomnia for about two and a half years now. It started when > I was 21. Before then I was your normal 21 year old enjoying life, > going to clubs, working full-time, and going to school. I used to fall > asleep easily and would sleep for atleast eight hours at a time. I > can’t really tell you exactly why it happened. That is why I stopped > sleeping. But I do remember the first night It started. That day was > extremely stressful for me. (Snip…)
Response:
But that is what I am trying to say, they have been treating me for depression now for over two years and I’m still not normal. What I mean is, I still cant sleep. They won’t run any test on me or have me stay at a sleep clinic or ever suggest anything new. It’s always about depression. Yea, I admit that at the time it started I was under too much stress. Yea, I admit that I thought about negative issues of my life. The problem with the depression thing is that all that the therapists want to do is rehearse and rehearse and rehearse old problems that you think you had or even new potential problems. After two years of therapy, I felt like something was wrong. It’s like o.k. now you want me to describe getting fired again for the hundreth time. So you start describing the painful situation again or should I say rehersing it and as I start to get upset for the hundreth time I find myself getting mad at myself and a little confused. I say to myself, I thought I was over this?-This is old news and I’m sick of it! So then I tell my therapist, I’m done with this issue I’ve gone over it enough and rehearsed it too much and I’m done with this issue. At that point I felt alot of weight coming off my back. Then he says to me no, your not over this issue, And it went on for a half an hour arguing about it. Depression for many is just a mind set that you create for yourself and you are the one who needs to take control of what thoughts you pay attention to and which ones you choose to dismiss. It’s as simple as picking out your clothes in the morning. The clothes are already there but you need to decide which ones you want. Just like your thoughts, everone has negative thoughts but the difference between content people and depressed people is that the content people don’t pay much attention to the negative thoughts that come to their head they dismiss them. Depressed people tend to analize every negative thought that comes to mind like it’s an emergency. I could go one but, if you or anyone you know is depressed I suggest reading, you can feel good again by Richard Carlson. It’s only twelve dollars and it will brighten your life. Even if depression runs in the family. It runs in mine. And maybe thats because it’s a taught trait. You weren’t born into this world being a skeptic, or being critical. It’s taught. And it’s not your fault but you can change! I don’t go to my therapist anymore, I cancelled all of my apointments now I don’t have to argue with him for one hour every two weeks. The book has helped me help myself.
Response:
I know how you feel. I have had chronic problems with insomnia myself. It’s difficult to keep from getting depressed over it. Thoughts seem to turn negative, etc. From your story I believe your problems with sleep have to do with your self worth. You probably feel that you have to be perfect all the time and if you’re not, you’re no good. That’s my problem any way. Feeling worthless doesn’t, on the surface, look like any reason to not sleep. But there may be an underlying fear that you’re not fit for life, that you don’t deserve to be alive. All I can say is what I’m trying to do. Love, love, love myself, no matter what. And, no most people do not care about your problems, they figure they’ve got their own and you should deal with yours. A little love from others could go a long way in easing our insecurities. However, loving yourself is most important. I hope I don’t sound preachy. I’m struggling with it too. Thanks for your letter. Love and peaceful rest, Karen
Response:
To take a note from AA let go and let god ,when it comes to life and death job don`t count. I had lung surgery 2 months ago and learned the hard way ,alot of what we worry about we can`t change any way so let go and let god If you neet a friend just email me a swan…@prodigy.net
Response:
I have had insomnia for about two and a half years now. It started when I was 21. Before then I was your normal 21 year old enjoying life, going to clubs, working full-time, and going to school. I used to fall asleep easily and would sleep for atleast eight hours at a time. I can’t really tell you exactly why it happened. That is why I stopped sleeping. But I do remember the first night It started. That day was extremely stressful for me. I had been working as a restaurant manager for about six years. I always worked extremely hard and made sure that all of my employees worked as a team. But this day really got the best of me. I won’t get into details but this was the day that broke the camels back. There was too much responsibility layed on me for too long, too many attitudes at the store and no one but me took care of them. I cried for hours. I felt so stressed out. That night for the first time I got absolutely no sleep. So it went from there. No sleep for days at a time. Then it went to two weeks at a time. I went insane, I didn’t want to live anymore. I went to my doctor. He perscribed me three different kinds of meds. That didn’t work. I started to notice signs of anxiety. I also started to think in a more depressing manner. All of the sudden my past started to become a problem for me. Tons of issues from my life seemed like they needed to be analized. So, I was sent to a psychyatrist. From there I was put on seven different meds. until one started to help me sleep. No one would or still will treat me for insomnia. They will only treat me for depression. I even had a sleep clinic turn me down because I was crying. Anyway, REMERON was the magic pill. I started sleeping but felt very tired during the day and had little energy. I also gained 20 pounds while on it. And as far as my job for then seven years, I got fired! I told my supervisor what I was going through while I was going through it and at first she seemed to care but when my insomnia, anxiety and depression weren’t getting better she seemed annoyed with me. She said "I thought you were getting over this". When it comes down to it, no one understands. No one understands unless they have gone through it, and it’s rare to find someone who actually takes the time to listen and really care. It’s been almost a year since I got fired. I went off the remeron a while back because of the weight gain, I’m on it again because I just went without sleep for 14 days again. I went to see a couselor and practiced relaxation tecniques and those work well for anxiety. Then, I went to go see a diferent therapist. I decided to stop seeing him after the second time. All they want you to talk about is how bad you think your life is. It’s a bunch of bull shit. They draw you deeper into your depression by rehersing old problems. There is a great book you should get if you have depression problems….. It’s called, you can feel good again….by Richard Carlson. Once you start reading the book everything will start making sense and you’ll know that your not a freak. I would like to go to college to become a nurse but can’t start anything until my life becomes normal again. It really sucks that my life has to be put on hold, but now more than ever I am determined that I will not let this illness take the rest of my life away from me. I fight everyday to not let it get the best of me. And as for my old job at that fucked up sub shop that cares only about money and not about their people, to hell with you!! For all of the people out there that feel that they lost control in their life, it’s still in there, inside of you. You just need to go inside and grab it, instead of letting other people take it away from you. Good Luck To All!
