I can't
Question:
"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message
news:aet0sv$699$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… > Hi again, Anon,
Hi 
> Darn, stinks how some parents can be…….i.e. your mom not giving news > after her wedding…. > I know I for oen tend to fear disturbign my son and being too present in > his adult life. I talk about him and how precious he is to me in the ng, > where I take it he knows so by heart…One day I sent him a cc of a post I > wrote here and was stunned to see him write back with tears of happienss > sayign I had no idea what that meant to him, as if he thought I did not > love him anymore!!! Just th fear of imposing and being a too smothering > mom, ya know…..:) > Have you tried calling your mom or writign her…?
Yes (before the wedding). About 3 months ago I was so desperate that I actually called her and told her that I wanted to kill myself. She seemed worried and actually called my dad who I hadn’t spoken to for a long time. She came over and talked and I got the impression she was genuinelly concerned. That is until the next day when she pretended like nothing had happened and even my dad got the impression that she was just trying to sweep it under the carpet for the sake of a peaceful life. I went to her wedding an other than the one voicemail, I’ve heard nothing since and like always, she doesn’t really care. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On the getting outdoors thing…. > Although I am not claustrophobic or do not have social anxiety > (nervousness, yes:), I am shy, but not up to fearign going outdoors), I > ahd stayed indoors being ill this winter with colds and flus and do on for > so long, that going out seemed to eb a bother after a few months of that…. > I too only went out for things at the corner store or corner grocery store… > What I started by doing was walk around the block on my way to the rocery > store…So doing, on the third day, I nboticed a street I had never seen > before, never noticed before…I decided to try and walk there the next > time. So happened to lead to a sort of secret quiet nice neighborhood, > with trees and birds and flowers…Not much traffic, only local… > I then started walking there, very early morning, as it was ever so nice > and quiet there…. > Noticing birds and dew and fresh air and so on, flowers in bloom, trees, > etc, helped the mind get on other thoughts, to daydream…. > Just sayign that here in case a walk aroudn the bloclk of your grocery > store coudl lead to something similar…. > It lead to my going to the beach:), rememberign "beach!":), and while I > was at the beach watching kids play in the water, I remembered "hey! There > IS a city pool on mystrteet!! Maybe Ic an go next week and start to do a > few lenghts each day! That woudl be refreshing and nice exercise too:)". > One thought elading to another gradually about activities…. > If you dontl liek walking aroudn people, find a safe street where you can > take a quiet walk, early morning (say 7…If you are not sleepign, at that > time:)). It is late enough to see sunlight, and early enough to be fresher > and quieter… > And why not, if it is safe to on those streets where ytou are, take a walk > at night when you can not sleep, when all woudl be quiet…?;-) > Just a thought….
Unfortunately, I live in a quite deprived area. There is nothing really nice round here, it’s just housing. I have thought about getting in the car and driving somewhere but I find walking alone a bit depressing unless I’ve really had enough. I’ve thought about getting a bicycle though and a roof rack for the car so I can just take off and cycle somewhere out in the country or find a nice canal somewhere. The trouble is that money is hard to come by! Thanks for replying again though, I appreciate your advice.
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> I.e. maybe a woman feelign she is ugly feels a need to find a handsome > guy, to try and show that she is "worth" it, or to try and have beauty to
Yes, that IS how they think unfortunately. > parade in another person at her arm. And maybe some of the prettier ones > then do not need so much to seek that, being more self confident about > their own looks, and not being obsessed with them (*not all of them* > putting the accent on the looks then), where that coudl explain why as > many said here, so called "ugly" men are often seen with prettier women?
I’ve never seen it. Sounds like a urban myth to me. Pretty women may not be out to prove they are good enough, but they are not going to take a man that they don’t think they DESERVE. I know for a fact that they aim even higher. Really doesn’t matter. I’m just a statistic after all.
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Darkfalz sai: >I don’t understand how "set ups" work anyway. The person still has to find >you attractive, and they aren’t going to do so because their friend stuck >you in a dating situation with them.
Well..if they are getting set up, they are probably not eating so high off the hog that they are going to reject you for not looking like Tom Cruise. Hana no Kaitou http://peachcoloredsky.keenspace.com <— Now updating again! http://members.fortunecity.com/animeg3282 <—Fancy Lala Club! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fancy_lala "You write the life that’s vividest’- Jarman
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> Well..if they are getting set up, they are probably not eating so high off the > hog that they are going to reject you for not looking like Tom Cruise.
I don’t think so, certainly not "probably". See, they are HOPING (and maybe even expecting) to be set up with a Tom Cruise. That added expectation just adds to the disappointment (and resentment for actually having to go through with the date) when she finds out you’re just an ordinary guy. And you don’t even bring it on yourself… 
Obviously, nobody’s going to set me up unless they want to lose a friend. But I don’t think I’d like to be in that situation anyway… that look of disappointment on her face, like you failed her… the whole night having her drop hints how she’s not really ready for a relationship (with you). Not fun. At least if you can score a date in the regualar way, you know she’s at least semi-interested in being there.
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Darkfalz said: >You know, that’s almost as funny as SIDS.
I’m sorry. Hana no Kaitou http://peachcoloredsky.keenspace.com <— Now updating again! http://members.fortunecity.com/animeg3282 <—Fancy Lala Club! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fancy_lala "You write the life that’s vividest’- Jarman
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"Animeg3282" <animeg3…@aol.compelsia> wrote in message
news:20020622115636.10757.00002472@mb-fp.aol.com… > Darkfalz said: > >You know, that’s almost as funny as SIDS. > I’m sorry.
I don’t understand how "set ups" work anyway. The person still has to find you attractive, and they aren’t going to do so because their friend stuck you in a dating situation with them.
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"Darkfalz" (darkf…@xis.com.au) writes: >> Hope the exams went well.. > I did OK, finally made it through a semester and it wasn’t that hard after > all.
That’s always a plus!:) >> Starting four weeks of free time…? Or is that with a (part time) job? >> If just free time, good time to try and do things you never tried before. > Just free time, I didn’t want to get a job. No girl to spend the money on! > 
Which is not so bad, as you then can spend on yourself, or on your family, or with buddies. >> Sorry for buggign people with this lately, but… >> Srating with short walks in pleasant quiet places has been wonderful for >> me, and i can not help but think it coudl be nice for tohers too… >> Granted, you must be in winter…But on a nice day, a walk in a nice >> place, maybe…?:) > I plan to go for walks at night becuase I need the exercise. But in the > daytime there’s people around. > I like the cold.
I like the quiet streets….:). I find it very nice early in the morning, before the streets are filled with activity…It’s peaceful and better lends itself to let go of stress even before any builds in the day:). > – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> Now now…Your making us curious!:) >> Secodn time I hear you say that, and I still am waiting for that video >> store story…If not too embarassing to say in public, that is, of course. > Okay… to make a long story short, I saw a short, plain, very dumpy (fat) > woman by herself in the video store. Nevertheless I thought she was kinda > cute and thought hypothetically maybe this kind of girl would even go for a > guy like me. > Then a thin, good looking guy comes and stands next to her and starts to > talk… she puts her arm around him. It was her boyfriend! ("Good for her" > all the girls say… "average girls deserve hunks too".) > Talk about taught a lesson for thinking we were in the same (effective) > league. But that’s happened lots of times before when I saw some girl that > wasn’t emperically that attractive, but she still did a fuck of a lot better > than me. I can’t believe how much better they have it with everything… a > guy basically equivalent to her would have to pay a woman to be with him.
This made me think (don’t ask me how it happened;-)L:)) Could it be that contrary to your thinking that a man should keep to ugly women if he finds his own self "ugly", that it woudl be totally other? I.e. coudl it be that *some* of the prettier women, having more self confidence, if they are not the arrogant type, would not mind the looks of a man as much, because they woudl not need to prove anythign to others? I.e. maybe a woman feelign she is ugly feels a need to find a handsome guy, to try and show that she is "worth" it, or to try and have beauty to parade in another person at her arm. And maybe some of the prettier ones then do not need so much to seek that, being more self confident about their own looks, and not being obsessed with them (*not all of them* putting the accent on the looks then), where that coudl explain why as many said here, so called "ugly" men are often seen with prettier women? Maybe then the way is to actually try and approach pretty women until you happen to approach one that does not think so superficially, not having that "obsession" about looks that more arrogant ones would have (that they look pretty or not)? Chloe —
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Darkfalz said: >What other choice do you have? I can’t change the world, I just have to live >in it… if you can call this living. >I just finished my exams and I’ve got 4 weeks of spending everyday by myself >to look forward to. I’m so lonely…. >I have an embarassing video store story to talk about here but I’m not even >going to bother.
I was sad about spending the whole summer alone, but I think I’ll take an art class, so that made me happy. Any classes you can take? And maybe you can ask your old friends to come over? If I get really lonely, I have to go and ask someone to hang out, although I get real shy. *giggles* You could even ask one to set you up with a girl! *ducks* Hana no Kaitou http://peachcoloredsky.keenspace.com <— Now updating again! http://members.fortunecity.com/animeg3282 <—Fancy Lala Club! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fancy_lala "You write the life that’s vividest’- Jarman
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"Darkfalz" (darkf…@xis.com.au) writes: > "A.Nonymous" <al…@home.com> wrote in message > news:3d10ce52$1_2@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com… >> ….take this shit anymore > What other choice do you have? I can’t change the world, I just have to live > in it… if you can call this living. > I just finished my exams and I’ve got 4 weeks of spending everyday by myself > to look forward to. I’m so lonely….
Hope the exams went well.. Starting four weeks of free time…? Or is that with a (part time) job? If just free time, good time to try and do things you never tried before. Sorry for buggign people with this lately, but… Srating with short walks in pleasant quiet places has been wonderful for me, and i can not help but think it coudl be nice for tohers too… Granted, you must be in winter…But on a nice day, a walk in a nice place, maybe…?:) > I have an embarassing video store story to talk about here but I’m not even > going to bother.
Now now…Your making us curious!:) Secodn time I hear you say that, and I still am waiting for that video store story…If not too embarassing to say in public, that is, of course. Later, Chloe > —
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"Animeg3282" <animeg3…@aol.compelsia> wrote in message
news:20020620135312.16030.00000001@mb-ch.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Darkfalz said: > >What other choice do you have? I can’t change the world, I just have to live > >in it… if you can call this living. > >I just finished my exams and I’ve got 4 weeks of spending everyday by myself > >to look forward to. I’m so lonely…. > >I have an embarassing video store story to talk about here but I’m not even > >going to bother. > I was sad about spending the whole summer alone, but I think I’ll take an art > class, so that made me happy. Any classes you can take? And maybe you can ask > your old friends to come over? If I get really lonely, I have to go and ask > someone to hang out, although I get real shy. *giggles* You could even ask one > to set you up with a girl! *ducks*
You know, that’s almost as funny as SIDS.
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> Hope the exams went well..
I did OK, finally made it through a semester and it wasn’t that hard after all. > Starting four weeks of free time…? Or is that with a (part time) job? > If just free time, good time to try and do things you never tried before.
Just free time, I didn’t want to get a job. No girl to spend the money on! > Sorry for buggign people with this lately, but… > Srating with short walks in pleasant quiet places has been wonderful for > me, and i can not help but think it coudl be nice for tohers too… > Granted, you must be in winter…But on a nice day, a walk in a nice > place, maybe…?:)
I plan to go for walks at night becuase I need the exercise. But in the daytime there’s people around. I like the cold. > Now now…Your making us curious!:) > Secodn time I hear you say that, and I still am waiting for that video > store story…If not too embarassing to say in public, that is, of course.
Okay… to make a long story short, I saw a short, plain, very dumpy (fat) woman by herself in the video store. Nevertheless I thought she was kinda cute and thought hypothetically maybe this kind of girl would even go for a guy like me. Then a thin, good looking guy comes and stands next to her and starts to talk… she puts her arm around him. It was her boyfriend! ("Good for her" all the girls say… "average girls deserve hunks too".) Talk about taught a lesson for thinking we were in the same (effective) league. But that’s happened lots of times before when I saw some girl that wasn’t emperically that attractive, but she still did a fuck of a lot better than me. I can’t believe how much better they have it with everything… a guy basically equivalent to her would have to pay a woman to be with him.
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"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message
news:aet073$5eb$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… > > Thanks….I just had a really bad day at work yesterday and made a fool out > > of myself because of my own stupid feelings. I’m going to take a few days > > sick leave and head back to see my doctor because this simply can’t go on, I > > just don’t think I can cope at work at the moment. > ………Tough times, those…….Wish I could give you a hug, just to try > and express the way I feel reading your words…Wish I coddl do > something to make it easier for you…. > Darn moments, huh…?
Thank you Unfortunately, there is nothing that anyone else can do except me and don’t I just know it. Talking about it on here is easy but actually doing something is tough especially when you’ve got no motivation. > > Other than that, I’ve just got a bad case of insomnia > I read in other replies that you were taking medication. Hopefully, > telling your dr can bring some adjustment in that….Is it anxiety that > keeps you awake, oir is it just not feeling tired at all…?
I’m taking Paxil/Seroxat at the moment. It is seriously messing up my sleep pattern and silly old me forgot to tell my doctor when I saw him last Thursday. The doctor has signed me off work though which is great, I’m just hoping the side effects associated with the medication will improve. > You probably did that, but sayignit just in case: did you make a search on > the medication you were prescribed for its possible secondary effects, on > the net?
I’ve done that too. Whenever I’m prescribed anything I do that as standard practice just so I know what I’m letting myself in for. The side effects listed were nausea, lack of libido & lack of energy and surprise surprise, sleeplessness. > One of my friends took an anti depressant years ago that brought him to > agressive or irritbale and a half states, where he woudl blow up and be > absolutely not himself at all….I made a search on the net and found that > that was a reaction that coudl happen as a secondary effect to that very > medication…
It may well be but then I’ve always been prone to mood swings – I think the medication may be making them worse although stress in my life has more to do with it. I told the doctor about that and I think that’s one of the reasons he signed me off work. > I also have a niece who was prescribed regular antios and soem other pill, > not depressant type at all: she was not depressed, she just ahd a bad lung > infection. The next thign we knew, this docile teen was wantign to kill > her parents with…a baseball bat! They abrely managed to escape and in > panick called me for help, as she was on her way to her boyfriend, with > the basebal bat!!!! I lived closer and made it there just as she had > walked in. Thank God the apartment door was opened, and I coudl gently and > clamly get in, and manage to let the bfriend guess we knew what was as > happening, and to stay veeeery put and clam….I managed to get the bat > from her…Then take her home….There, we checkemedication bile: a bold > foot note said it shoudl never be mixed with that other she was taken, > else the results were known to be (check ths is out)…murderous instincts!!! > Bingo: we then knew what was going on….
Wow….that’s awful. I’m glad that nobody was hurt in the end though. > No matter what new whatever aI am prescribed, I always call a phramacy and > ask the harmacist to double check on drs, that soemtimes have their head > on the golf course;-)
That’s probably a good idea > Best wishes, Anon……..And keep the thoughts up and the spirits as up as > you can…I know..easier said than done, but trying already yields more > benefits than giving up….
Well thank you for the advice/kind words. > Hope the insomnia part is seen to soon…..
Me too, lack of sleep makes me even more cranky!
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Hi again, Anon, Darn, stinks how some parents can be…….i.e. your mom not giving news after her wedding…. I know I for oen tend to fear disturbign my son and being too present in his adult life. I talk about him and how precious he is to me in the ng, where I take it he knows so by heart…One day I sent him a cc of a post I wrote here and was stunned to see him write back with tears of happienss sayign I had no idea what that meant to him, as if he thought I did not love him anymore!!! Just th fear of imposing and being a too smothering mom, ya know…..:) Have you tried calling your mom or writign her…? On the getting outdoors thing…. Although I am not claustrophobic or do not have social anxiety (nervousness, yes:), I am shy, but not up to fearign going outdoors), I ahd stayed indoors being ill this winter with colds and flus and do on for so long, that going out seemed to eb a bother after a few months of that…. I too only went out for things at the corner store or corner grocery store… What I started by doing was walk around the block on my way to the rocery store…So doing, on the third day, I nboticed a street I had never seen before, never noticed before…I decided to try and walk there the next time. So happened to lead to a sort of secret quiet nice neighborhood, with trees and birds and flowers…Not much traffic, only local… I then started walking there, very early morning, as it was ever so nice and quiet there…. Noticing birds and dew and fresh air and so on, flowers in bloom, trees, etc, helped the mind get on other thoughts, to daydream…. Just sayign that here in case a walk aroudn the bloclk of your grocery store coudl lead to something similar…. It lead to my going to the beach:), rememberign "beach!":), and while I was at the beach watching kids play in the water, I remembered "hey! There IS a city pool on mystrteet!! Maybe Ic an go next week and start to do a few lenghts each day! That woudl be refreshing and nice exercise too:)". One thought elading to another gradually about activities…. If you dontl liek walking aroudn people, find a safe street where you can take a quiet walk, early morning (say 7…If you are not sleepign, at that time:)). It is late enough to see sunlight, and early enough to be fresher and quieter… And why not, if it is safe to on those streets where ytou are, take a walk at night when you can not sleep, when all woudl be quiet…?;-) Just a thought…. Chloe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"A.Nonymous" (al…@home.com) writes: > "ejay" <e…@tiscali.nl> wrote in message > news:3D1180ED.5070104@tiscali.nl… >> A.Nonymous wrote: >> > "Mimi" <trustingm…@hotmail.com> wrote in message >> > news:2a2e299.0206191955.4f604ce9@posting.google.com… >> >>Did you remember to take your medication? Do you have the therapist’s >> >>number handy? Is your family aware of what you are going through? >> > I’ve been taking my medication regular as clockwork. I’m not actually >> > seeing a therapist yet but I’m going to try and see my doctor today. My >> > family are well aware of what I’m going through but they keep their >> > distance, I think they’ve figured that it’s easier just to wash their > hands >> > clean of me and let me sort out my own problems. >> Sorry to hear that. I
