Life/Meno status
Question:
>>From: FurPaw furpawn…@comcast.net >>Date: 1/1/03 9:12 AM Pacific Standard Time >>Bottom line: It’s been a rough year, but not nearly as bad >>as for some. Pulling myself together and finding a >>direction (and a job!), and improving my health and fitness >>are my goals for this year. But continuing to keep my life >>in perspective, handling the obstacles, and maintaining my >>relationship with Hubster are at the top of my list. >>FurPaw
I don’t know if you remember, but Jane went through similar feelings regarding her loss of job about a year ago, so may have some insights into how she coped with it. There was a thread where we talked about her being homemakerj #2. Cool Runnings, HomemakerJ
Response:
Ruth J wrote: > Piggybacking on my own post, I should add to this that five years ago > rather intractable insomnia began and continues to this day. I cannot > recall the last time I slept through the night.
When I had intractable insomnia I e-mailed long, involved messages to a fellow a.s.m.er who also had insomnia. We pondered life and tried to solve the problems of the world. It was a distraction, at least. > I cope with a > combination of prescription, homeopathic remedies, and sometimes alcohol > which I do *not* recommend as it is both unhealthy and bad for sleep > patterns but sometimes I become desparate for sleep.
I felt like my bed was my enemy. I could go to bed feeling so exhausted, only to toss and turn and feel wide awake and desperate. Turning the clock so I couldn’t see how much sleep I wasn’t getting helped. I became very sensitive to noise. Every little thing would have me wide awake again. I started sleeping with a fan on. I can remember the first time I skipped periods for about six months I noticed that a kind of speediness that I hadn’t really been aware of, left me. I was extremely relieved to have it gone. Then, when I started having annoyingly regular periods again, the speediness was back and this time I noticed it. I sometimes marveled at the powerful withdrawal symptoms from decreased estrogen. > Of which I seem to > need a lot.
Yes, and you will find, once the insomnia lifts, that you do sleep allot, catching up on what you’ve missed. Getting rest three nights in a row seems like a miracle. Life *does* look better after a good night’s sleep. > The only upside of sleeping in one and two hour chunks is > that I get to remember — and record — my dreams.
Well, this is a good thing in that you may learn something about what issues you need to address. When I was sleeping in one and two hour chunks, I didn’t fight it. I’d get up, drink some hot chocolate and have some toast in the kitchen. I’d think about all the years when I *had* to be asleep so as not to disturb family members, or to be fresh for school or work. I tried to make it a delicious freedom that I was awake when I was *supposed* to be asleep. In my case, I’d also think back to nights when I’d be up because I was feeding or consoling one of my babies, and relive those cherished memories when they are so vulnerable and dependent. I’d pet the cat, read another few chapters in my book, look out the window to see who else wasn’t sleeping or what the moon was doing or how many stars were out, take another hot bath and lie down again. On a bad night I could finish a book and the bath towels would be soaking wet, but no, I wouldn’t have toast and hot chocolate every time I got up. 
I think that what wakes us up so frequently, whether we are aware of it or not, are the night sweats. I know I can remember times when I’d wake up with the feeling that my body had been having a three ring circus while I slept, but I couldn’t remember the details of what it was doing. I can also remember when I finally learned how to just roll over and let the circus continue without me, while I fell back to sleep. Perhaps this was the phase when I became extremely fussy about what kind of bed covers I had. Out with the hot ones and the heavy ones and on with the light-weight and layered ones. I agree with Pat Kight. Rolling over to the cool spot on the bed feels like heaven. I’ve often wondered whether an old time poster, Cathe B. ever got over her insomnia? Cool Runnings, HomemakerJ
Response:
>> Ruth J wrote: >> About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they >> were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st >> seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ
Age: 54 Days since last period: 1 year, two weeks Hot flashes: Some night sweats when I first turn out the light and roll over. Daytime hot flashes have become very mild and infrequent. Some years back, when I went through my exacerbation of symptoms, my husband and I took separate rooms. This year we bought a new king-sized bed, did some remodeling, and have moved back into the same room where we both now get a good night’s sleep. Mood swings: I haven’t had mood swings in about five years. I’m a happy, positive thinker by nature. What I have noticed is that I no longer feel the need to nurture anyone and everyone. I’ve learned to say no. I’m much more inclined to focus on things that I want to do without any guilt. I’m feeling a sense of mastery, particularly with cooking, run- ning a household, and the various interests I’ve pursued. Health: Excellent. My eating habits have been forcibly changed through the process of peri-menopause. I have naturally lost weight. I have lots of energy and the fog has lifted so I am able to focus and be creative again. I still have occasional insomnia, but have gotten used to not needing more than six hours sleep. Vaginal dryness is greatly improved with time and consistent water drinking. Lately, I have added a teaspoon a day of Cod Liver Oil (yuck!) which seems to also help. Libido is back, but more subdued and stately. Personal: Happily married, with five children. The youngest is 18 and will graduate high school this year. It was a stressful year in that husband went through a depression and loss of job in February, I didn’t think I’d have the money to go to my middle son’s wedding in Louisiana, and my father is aging badly. My siblings are going through mid-life and we aren’t as close or in agreement as we used to be. But, I’ve developed deeper friendships with other people, who feel like family. Everything has worked out better than I could have imagined. Professional: I continue to dabble in antiques, writing and music, with good results. Bottom line: I thought peri-menopause was the end of the world and at the same time, would never end, until I found this news group, I guess about nine years ago. I rebelled at getting older and tried to cling to my youth. Through learning of other women’s experiences, much of the fear of aging has been relieved. I realized that middle age wasn’t old age. That the symptoms were temporary. That being "invisible" was empowering, as I was free to make my world a better place quietly. My white hair and my life experience were viewed by others as wisdom and understanding. I began to focus on the various symptoms I experienced as messages from my body to make some changes, which made my journey a whole lot smoother. I became comfortable with aging and was immensely pleased and surprised to find that sans period I had my old energy back and a zest for living, but my priorities had greatly changed. Cool Runnings, HomemakerJ
Response:
susie faulkner wrote: > I see that HRT has been mentioned very little in this thread, if at > all. I have been grappling with ‘the HRT decision’, especially as a > year ago a bone scan revealed I am ‘mildly osteopeneic’ and thus > possibly on the way to full-blown osteoporosis.
Susie, you probably know this but others reading maynot: *all* adults over a certain age show some bone loss; it may be that your mild osteopenia is nothing more than normal, age-related bone thinning. It’s far from certain you’ll develop osteoporosis. Adding weight-bearing exercise and increasing the calcium in your diet may be as good for your bones as any drug on the market, and with none of the risks. > Women in our family > tend to get a camel’s back in their 60s, see the beginnings of it in > myself – shoulders seem to be rising and neck sinking. None of them > suffered fractures though as far as I can remember. My GP here in > London wanted to put me on HRT immediately I’d had the scan and when I > resisted she was very annoyed. When I said I didn’t like the idea of > taking it indefinitely, partly because of the risk of breast cancer, > she insisted that the risk is small (this was pre WHI results). I > asked about the other pharmaceutical treatments for osteopenia; she > dismissed them and said not enough is known about them. The WHI > results a few months back tended to confirm to me I was right not to > take HRT – but I still wonder whether I should try it.
It would be interesting to hear what that GP says now that the WHI is in. An awful lot of pro-HRT doctors have changed their tunes lately. > One of the most obvious symptoms has been vaginal dryness – which I > hoped might be transient, as Susan Love mentions in her book, but > which has proved to be persistent. This, and a general feeling of > defeminisation, still lead me to consider whether HRT might not help. > The defeminisation manifests itself in a number of ways, including > changes in body shop (shrinking breasts, a more lanky kind of build, > swelling abdomen despite weight changing little), declining muscle > tone, dry and brittle hair and even changes in colour and size of > thinning lips.
While I understand the feeling that these changes are "defeminizing," they’re all consistent with, well, aging. If the culture didn’t put so much emphasis on the young and feminine, I wonder if we’d even notice them? > I guess all in all I find post menopause a time of continuing change. > I do have a lingering sense of mourning – of youth and possibilities, > as well as of my mother.
*nod* All worth mourning, surely, and all things each of us will face. As we age, we *do* lose things – especially people. Allowing ourselves to mourn those losses seems like a good thing to me, as long as it doesn’t consume us. Here’s hoping the new year brings you – and the world – toward resolution of these challenges. Best wishes, –Pat Kight kig…@peak.org
Response:
Ruth J <rcjac…@pacbell.net> wrote in message <news:3E11DE89.9ADAA32@pacbell.net>… > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ
Good idea to revive the thread – don’t know if I count, as I am five years post-menopausal rather than ‘in menopause’. I see from the posts so far that I stopped way before many in this group. The majority seem to be still menstruating well into their 50s or is that just the ones who’ve responded? I’ll be 53 soon, had last period almost five years ago after various ‘dry’ intervals, the last going on for more than a year. I rather miss my periods, if not the excruciating PMS that preceded them. I sometimes dream, with a sense of relief, that I am menstruating. I am also, now that it is out of the question, becoming more and more regretful about never having had a child, even have fantasies of having a clone or IVF via a donated egg! I married, impulsively and without even telling my divorced parents, soon after university, probably because at that time I was directionless and desperately in need of some stability. It only lasted four and a half years. Although I have had a number of relationships over the years I got very caught up in my work, which involved quite a bit of travel. ‘Settling down’ and having children wasn’t a priority. I have spent the years since I was 40 in a relationship which although lovely in many ways was never going to lead to marriage, and which has now had to become long distance because he was forced by work to move far away to another country. The 40s, to my surprise, proved to be the most erotic decade of my life. Now I realise it’s unlikely I will be with anyone long term, not that I want anyone but him; meanwhile my libido has been increasing if anything since my early 40s. Excess of testosterone over oestrogen or something? I see that HRT has been mentioned very little in this thread, if at all. I have been grappling with ‘the HRT decision’, especially as a year ago a bone scan revealed I am ‘mildly osteopeneic’ and thus possibly on the way to full-blown osteoporosis. Women in our family tend to get a camel’s back in their 60s, see the beginnings of it in myself – shoulders seem to be rising and neck sinking. None of them suffered fractures though as far as I can remember. My GP here in London wanted to put me on HRT immediately I’d had the scan and when I resisted she was very annoyed. When I said I didn’t like the idea of taking it indefinitely, partly because of the risk of breast cancer, she insisted that the risk is small (this was pre WHI results). I asked about the other pharmaceutical treatments for osteopenia; she dismissed them and said not enough is known about them. The WHI results a few months back tended to confirm to me I was right not to take HRT – but I still wonder whether I should try it. I didn’t fully realise I was going through peri in my mid-40s – the GP ascribed my wakefulness at night, sweats and low mood to depression, put me on Paxil. I only took it for a few weeks. I did have a brief flirtation with Chinese herbal medicine, but otherwise got through meno with little outside intervention. Having got through the hormonal ups and downs I now generally sleep well at night although I still get quite raging and depresssed moods. One of the most obvious symptoms has been vaginal dryness – which I hoped might be transient, as Susan Love mentions in her book, but which has proved to be persistent. This, and a general feeling of defeminisation, still lead me to consider whether HRT might not help. The defeminisation manifests itself in a number of ways, including changes in body shop (shrinking breasts, a more lanky kind of build, swelling abdomen despite weight changing little), declining muscle tone, dry and brittle hair and even changes in colour and size of thinning lips. I have lost some confidence at social occasions; in my work I have to go to a lot of receptions, openings of exhibitions etc and men no longer approach me in the way they did. I get struck with an almost adolescent syness sometimes! In a society where women my age are under so much pressure to keep up appearances I worry about the decline in my physical attributes, although have resisted the ubiquitous botox so far. My limited budget means I can’t keep splashing out on expensive clothes and make-up. I took voluntary redundancy three years ago and work from my small one-bedroom flat (actually from the bedroom). Although I relish the freedom, especially from macho office politics, it can be an uncertain way of life and my income has taken a big dive as have pension prospects. Only in the third year has business really started to pick up. I don’t think I would want to work in an office again, but have problems organising myself at home and the flat is cluttered up with books, papers etc. This also affects my socialising at home, and it’s ages since I had a dinner or pary here. I feel the need to get more balance in my life after more than 25 years of working in my specialisation; would like to travel, do yoga again, meditate, exercise more, experiment with cooking for others, maybe even get down to writing that novel. I guess all in all I find post menopause a time of continuing change. I do have a lingering sense of mourning – of youth and possibilities, as well as of my mother. She died sectioned in a psychiatric hospital not long before I took redundancy, after a manic phase in her chronic manic-depression. I had been very involved in her care and recurring hospitalisations from my late 30s until she died when I was 49 and her death has left a big gap. I also fear that I may get a similar psychiatric illness. She was in her mid-60s when the manic depression that had plagued her in her 20s returned. It had been kept at bay all those years with lithium, but she had to stop taking it when it began to affect her kidneys. I dread becoming dependent in the way she did and having to move into sheltered/nursing accommodation. These feelings of dread not at all helped by the dire international situation, the uncertainty over eveything. Let’s hope things get better in that respect somehow. Susie
Response:
T. Audry Glamour wrote: > Mood swings: Ugh. I had a few tranquil months–from June until the > holidays. In June I made the decision to seek professional help for my > years of long, very painful bouts of depression. The "professional" I > went to (love that managed care) told me they couldn’t spend their > time with people like me–others needed help much more and since I > declined medication (except St John’s Wort) the best they could offer > was a depression management class (which I haven’t taken yet). I got > so mad that I took hold of myself and felt quite well for around six > months. Now I’m back in the glums–but this could be from ongoing life > problems, not peri.
I just wanted to respond to this paragraph. Feel free to get pissed off at the unsolicited advice 
. When I decided to get some psychotherapy a few years ago, I bypassed managed care (because there were few therapists to choose from, and because the wait for an appointment was inordinately long) and went on my own. I found a shrink who did cognitive therapy, which is short-course (typically 10-30 sessions), so it didn’t break the bank or ensnare me for a life-time commitment. If you have the financial resources, you might want to consider doing this. If you don’t want to go this way, or even if you do – let me recommend my favorite self-therapy book. It’s called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. It teaches you some techniques from cognitive therapy that you can apply to yourself. Available in paperback. FurPaw
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Good idea! ********************************8 Age: 44 Days since last period: I WISH!!!! Still having them regularly — about 24 days apart, and they last 2-5 days (generally last only 3, so I guess I really shouldn’t complain). Hot flashes: not too many these days since I had a 2-month course with a beta blocker this Fall. Mood swings: depends on how hormonal I get with my period. Some months I do fine and others I pretty much dislike everyone and everything within 100 feet of me. This month seems to be shaping up to be such — my boobs are super sore and I feel pretty hormonal (like I did in my 30’s). Personal: just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary with the dearest man I’ve ever met. I’m a very fortunate woman (despite the recent family unpleasantness that I wrote about earlier). Professional: still love my job as an administrator in higher education. I get to travel and meet all kinds of interesting people, and the work is never the same from day to day. I also have a good retirement plan and a generous tuition plan for my kids. Bottom line: I moved from the East Coast to the wild West this year, and I am starting to feel at home here. Woo hoo! I’m also glad to be nearer my husband. Double Woo hoo!! But moving and getting oriented to a new location is stressful, and I miss my daughter, so I’d count this as one of the most stressful years of my life. That said, there is still so much of life that is sweet, and life in my new home is interesting and gratifying, so I’m thankful for all my blessings. Cathering
Response:
Piggybacking on my own post, I should add to this that five years ago rather intractable insomnia began and continues to this day. I cannot recall the last time I slept through the night. I cope with a combination of prescription, homeopathic remedies, and sometimes alcohol which I do *not* recommend as it is both unhealthy and bad for sleep patterns but sometimes I become desparate for sleep. Of which I seem to need a lot. The only upside of sleeping in one and two hour chunks is that I get to remember — and record — my dreams. RuthJ — "…when women reach a certain age they seem to become immortal." James Thurber, Let Your Mind ALONE!, Grossett & Dunlap, NY, 1958(?) p. 234 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ruth J wrote: > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ > Age: 57 in March > Days since last period: 320 > Hot Flashes: mostly night sweats, rare hot flashes daytimes. Not taking > anything. > Mood Swings: Down now. 4 months of zest and then things went awry. > Partly SAD, partly deep sadness about the conditions in my county and > the world in general, partly my own personal demons. Not necessarily > related to menopause. Resigned to feeling this way for a time. > Personal: not involved in a relationship nor do I want one. Never > thought I would lose my libido and that, I do miss. Makes me feel > rather lifeless. Wonder when/if it will return. > Professional: living on late Mother’s investments (risky, no one > dependent on me); volunteering in the arts 5 afternoons a week; on > boards of directors of homeowners’ assn and Wagner Society Board of > directors, both of which take more time than I wish to give. Very glad > to be in a position to help the arts in our failing economy. > Bottom Line: Barring unforseen circumstances, plan to continue life as > is. Believe generalized anxiety about the world is justified. > Considering the plight of others believe I should be counting my > blessings but do not seem to be able to shake the sadness. > — > "…when women reach a certain age they seem to become immortal." > James Thurber, Let your mine ALONE!, Grosset & Dunlap, NY, 1958(?) p. > 234
Response:
>From: figle…@yahoo.com (maramel) >Date: 1/1/03 6:36 AM Pacific Standard Time >Bottom Line: Leave the BS at the front door mat. I’ve had enough in my >life, don’t want anymore.
Or "My cow died,so I don’t need your bull." Sharon..Live joyously and love much.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Ruth J <rcjac…@pacbell.net> wrote in message <news:3E11DE89.9ADAA32@pacbell.net>… > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ > Age: 57 in March > Days since last period: 320 > Hot Flashes: mostly night sweats, rare hot flashes daytimes. Not taking > anything. > Mood Swings: Down now. 4 months of zest and then things went awry. > Partly SAD, partly deep sadness about the conditions in my county and > the world in general, partly my own personal demons. Not necessarily > related to menopause. Resigned to feeling this way for a time. > Personal: not involved in a relationship nor do I want one. Never > thought I would lose my libido and that, I do miss. Makes me feel > rather lifeless. Wonder when/if it will return. > Professional: living on late Mother’s investments (risky, no one > dependent on me); volunteering in the arts 5 afternoons a week; on > boards of directors of homeowners’ assn and Wagner Society Board of > directors, both of which take more time than I wish to give. Very glad > to be in a position to help the arts in our failing economy. > Bottom Line: Barring unforseen circumstances, plan to continue life as > is. Believe generalized anxiety about the world is justified. > Considering the plight of others believe I should be counting my > blessings but do not seem to be able to shake the sadness.
Well, here goes: Age: 53 in February Days since last period: in the midst of one now. Went 103 days without between August and November. Will it ever end? Hot Flashes, etc.: none lately, ditto night sweats. Taking evening primrose oil, soy, black cohosh, b-complex, melatonin for insomnia. Chronic lower back pain. Had it checked out: pelvis out of "whack". Whoopee. No running for 2 weeks until I return to the doctor. Mood Swings: yep, up and down. Interestingly, I felt pretty good during the 103 days. Bad moods, etc. returned with the curse in November. Considerable anxiety about current events in the world, feel overwhelmed lot of the time. Libido took a walk 2 years ago. Professional: still work full time as exec. secretary (24 years this year – 2 more to go before possible retirement). My garden and running (when I’m not in pain) keeps me from totally flipping out. Married (2nd time) 10 years this July. He’s retired. Bottom Line: Leave the BS at the front door mat. I’ve had enough in my life, don’t want anymore. Happy New Year!!!! Everyone stay healthy and safe!!! Maramel
Response:
Age: 54 Days since last period: I had one just before Christmas after going without one since sometime in the spring. I haven’t had a gusher for over a year though! Hot Flashes: I have had fewer daytime flashes. And after this last period my nights seem to have settled down with fewer night sweats–but those can come and go. Neither of them bother me much. Anything is better than floods and mood swings. Mood swings: Ugh. I had a few tranquil months–from June until the holidays. In June I made the decision to seek professional help for my years of long, very painful bouts of depression. The "professional" I went to (love that managed care) told me they couldn’t spend their time with people like me–others needed help much more and since I declined medication (except St John’s Wort) the best they could offer was a depression management class (which I haven’t taken yet). I got so mad that I took hold of myself and felt quite well for around six months. Now I’m back in the glums–but this could be from ongoing life problems, not peri. Personal: I have had the love of my life for the past five years, even though my libido comes and goes. However, I am still married to someone else. But my sweetie and I have a wonderful, harmonious relationship. I also have my dear grandchilden nearby. Unfortunately, I have not been getting on really well with my bossy opinionated daughter-in-law. I have a new kitten and an elderly dog who has been a very good friend to me for 14 years. I also have been getting together recently with three other women–all high school friends, some who have been out of touch for years, all menobabes. Professional: Ha ha. I have a part time job that is sort of mindless but I love the people I work with. They have had to cut back my hours due to the economy but I hate working so much that I haven’t looked for anything to fill in the cut time. (I worked at a horrid six-day a week job when my kids were young and I just can’t face a real job any more.) Bottom line: It may be that my whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Audry — See "Bottom line" above
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> Age: turned 60 ond 12/15 > Days since last period: Just days, to disgusted to think about. Maybe I will be done sometime
before I die(grin). > Hot Flashes: Not on any regular basis, but for sure when I take Medrol,
for my asthma. This does not bother me a lot and will probably be with me for life, because of asthma meds. > Mood Swings: More so because of fustration with CFS limitations, then peri/meno. As
soon as I realize what is happening, I can mostly control them. >Personal: Married 36 yrs. I have not worked outside of our home, since we
started having children. I LOVED being home and all that went with it. Probably would of gone back to work to help with college expenses, but CFS interfered with that. This has been a good year for me, finding the naet treatments has improved my life style and improved my energy levels. On other fronts this has been a bad year for investments, which will make hubbys retirement harder and maybe further off. I hope that 2003 will be a good year for all!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Sue
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Ruth J wrote: > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ
Taking stock – good idea! Age: Just turned 55 Days since last period: Surgipausal, 3.5 years Hot flashes: Expressed as excessive sweating: Occasional mild night sweats, and after drinking red wine or exercise. Occasional cold flash at night. I don’t take anything to try to prevent them; they’re not that disruptive. Mood swings: not since surgipause. Have experienced mild depression since losing job, and I started on a low dose of Celexa a couple of months ago. It seems to be doing the trick. Health: need to work on boosting this – low energy, not enough exercise, overweight. Ongoing minor (I hope!) problems resulting from hysterectomy, radiation and bowel surgery. Personal: happily married. Lots of other stuff going on – death of Hubster’s dad, ongoing problems with his siblings over care of his mother, taking care of my Dad, who has late-stage Parkinson’s, dog has cancer, now seemingly (hopefully!) in remission. Hubster and I try to handle all this by making sure we’re always there for each other. And our dogs continue to delight us every day. Oh, and the people in this group have provided me with a lot of support, information, food for thought, and laughter, and I’m really glad you’re all here. Professional: Yech. Laid off in June, got part time teaching job, which I really enjoy. Need more money than this pays, however. Doing some self-training on web development, not sure what I will do with it, but I like doing it. Trying to figure out what direction I want to take from here. Bottom line: It’s been a rough year, but not nearly as bad as for some. Pulling myself together and finding a direction (and a job!), and improving my health and fitness are my goals for this year. But continuing to keep my life in perspective, handling the obstacles, and maintaining my relationship with Hubster are at the top of my list. FurPaw
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>Subject: Life/Meno status >From: Ruth J rcjac…@pacbell.net >Date: 12/31/02 10:14 AM Pacific Standard Time >Message-id: <3E11DE89.9ADA…@pacbell.net> >About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they >were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st >seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ
Well, I am in andropause, not menopause, but here is a modified version of your format. Age: 58 on 4 October 2002 Castrated: 14 May 2001 Hot Flashes: None since I started taking 2.5 MG Premarin Daily about August 2002. Mood swings: Slowly spiraled down into a black Depression, was placed on an antidepressant in September 2002, now in extensive therapy. Feeling much calmer most of the time. AA sobriety date still 17 March 1984. Personal: Not currently involved in a human relationship, and probably never will be again, given my total impotence and total lack of libido. Currently a Cat Daddy to Pearly, and maybe a second cat soon. Professional: Still working for the USPS as an Electronics Technician, recently promoted to Level Ten. Entered a Chapter 13 Bankruptcy last August. Will probably have to work until I am age 70 to have a reasonable retirement. Bottom Line: "One day At A Time" still applies. By the way, somebody said they were unable to access the pictures of Pearly two days ago. My Brother has fixed the web site, should be OK now. http://rcc.dyndns.org/pearly/index.html All E-mail to this screen name is blocked to thwart spammers. Reply to harryandruschak AT aol DOT com "Behold, I am a dry tree." Isaiah 56: 1-8 and Matthew 19: 11,12 http://rcc.dyndns.org/pearly/index.html Honorary Menobabe
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Pat Kight wrote: > Ruth J wrote: > > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > > seems to be as good a time as any. > Not a bad way to wrap up the year, Ruth. Let’s see: > Age: Just turned 53 > Days since last period: I’m deciding not to count the couple of days of > spotting I had just before Christmas, so I’ll guesstimate approx. 3 months. > Hot Flashes: Not lately. I had a real spate of them in the late summer > and fall, but these days I’m mostly too cold. Not taking anything. > Mood swings: Never a real problem for me. I do have moods, but they tend > to reflect what’s going on around me, and they don’t swing. My holiday > mood has > been quite wonderful. > Personal: I’m a year into one of the best relationships of my life, and > my libido has never been better – woohoo! > Professional: Still working full-time, as I expect to be for the foreseeable > future. I enjoy my job and it’s pretty stress- free. > Bottom Line: Life is good. The older I get, the better it gets. My only > hope for the new year is to finally stop having periods!
Here’s mine– Age: 47 Days since last period: My current one is winding down; they’re still coming more or less on time, every 24-29 days, but 25 seems to be the default setting for the last few months. Hot Flashes: only in the week running up to my period (I use them as a reminder to stock up on supplies) and they’re not too bad. Quite nice for working in a chilly backstage, actually… Mood Swings: mostly during the run-up week (see Hot Flashes, above), and generally manifesting as Extreme Annoyance with my cow orkers. Personal: Libido comes and goes. Professional: In times of Extreme Annoyance, I seriously think about leaving my job. But then the phase passes, or the show closes, and whatever was irking me goes away. That’s what I like about working at a theater–the plays change every month and a half or so, so there’s not a danger of getting in a rut. Now if I could get my cow orkers to cheer the hell up….. Bottom Line: Sittin’ on the dock of the bay, waitin’ for my red tide to go away…… –with apologies to both Otis Redding and to Eva– Happy New Year!! Cindy
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>From: FurPaw furpawn…@comcast.net >Date: 1/1/03 9:12 AM Pacific Standard Time >Bottom line: It’s been a rough year, but not nearly as bad >as for some. Pulling myself together and finding a >direction (and a job!), and improving my health and fitness >are my goals for this year. But continuing to keep my life >in perspective, handling the obstacles, and maintaining my >relationship with Hubster are at the top of my list. >FurPaw
Just wanted to say I always admire your optimism. Sharon..Live joyously and love much.
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Age: 51 in May Days since last period: hysterectomy Dec 16 2000 – last period about a week before then Hot Flashes: At night when I first lie down, about 30 minutes, inconsistent. I use a cold pack at the back of the neck for it, sometimes go to sleep with it in place, and keep the temperature at 68 F. or so. Mood Swings: much better since hysterectomy. Personal: married 28 years in February, less intimacy as husband has aged. Libido probably down from 5 years ago. Professional: Volunteer web work. Joined the Presbyterian church in October (formerly very lapsed Lutheran). Completely dependent on husband’s pension, which won’t extend past his lifetime, so future uncertain. He is pretty much housebound now with arthritis. Am trying to get out more into the real world, and to drive again – I know how, but I’m way out of practice, like to walk, but should drive a little. Bottom Line: OK for now Linda, NW Indiana
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Frankenmel wrote: >>From: Pat Kight kig…@peak.org >>Date: 12/31/02 12:37 PM Pacific Standard Time >>Age: Just turned 53 > Did I miss this?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Well, Dec. 3 _ I think I was busy with my sweetie and didn’t mention it. But thanks. — Pat Kight kig…@peak.org
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Pearly the cat and Harry Andruschak wrote: > Personal: Not currently involved in a human relationship, and probably never > will be again, given my total impotence and total lack of libido. Currently a > Cat Daddy to Pearly, and maybe a second cat soon.
Rough year, Harry, but it looks like you’ve pulled through it despite the obstacles. I had to comment on the above paragraph. You may have noticed that quite a few women in their 40s and 50s here comment on their own lack of libido. Some women may have physical reasons for not wanting to have sex, reasons which aren’t transient. It struck me when reading this paragraph that *if* you are interested in finding female companionship, you might not want to give up too readily, that there are quite likely women out there who have given up on male companionship because they don’t want to be pressured into having sex. (Same comments apply to men.) I’m not saying that you *should* look, just suggesting that the companionship is likely there, if you’re interested in finding it. Happy New Year to you and Pearly! FurPaw
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Ruth J wrote: > About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they > were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st > seems to be as good a time as any.
Not a bad way to wrap up the year, Ruth. Let’s see: Age: Just turned 53 Days since last period: I’m deciding not to count the couple of days of spotting I had just before Christmas, so I’ll guesstimate approx. 3 months. Hot Flashes: Not lately. I had a real spate of them in the late summer and fall, but these days I’m mostly too cold. Not taking anything. Mood swings: Never a real problem for me. I do have moods, but they tend to reflect what’s going on around me, and they don’t swing. My holiday mood has been quite wonderful. Personal: I’m a year into one of the best relationships of my life, and my libido has never been better – woohoo! Professional: Still working full-time, as I expect to be for the foreseeable future. I enjoy my job and it’s pretty stress- free. Bottom Line: Life is good. The older I get, the better it gets. My only hope for the new year is to finally stop having periods! — Pat Kight kig…@peak.org
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>From: Pat Kight kig…@peak.org >Date: 12/31/02 12:37 PM Pacific Standard Time >Age: Just turned 53
Did I miss this?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Sharon..Live joyously and love much.
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Age: Just turned 52 in November Days since last period: Started on December 23 (been going about 6 weeks between) Hot Flashes: Only when standing in checkout lines (and a few night sweats) Mood swings: Oh yeah……some major cycling going on the past few months, I’m 3.5 years into an analysis (traditional 4-day-a-week-on-the-couch-Freudian). Personal: What’s a personal life? and who walked off with my libido? Professional: Working full time on a less-than-challenging job, but it pays the bills and has a WONDERFUL retirement plan. Bottom Line: Life is better than the alternative, and I expect things to improve.
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"Frankenmel" <franken…@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20021231134657.17987.00000568@mb-mv.aol.com… > Well…I’m nearly 57 (Feb birthday) > I ended my bleeding years at age 50. With so many of us having problems with > hot flashes,I hesitate to say they were never a major problem for me. I had > some,but I didn’t think too much about them..they were not debilitating. > I went through major mood swings during peri. I didn’t know there was a word > "perimenopause",and most of the older women I knew had had
hysterectomies,so no > one helped me figure out what the heck was going on. > Both DH and I have our own small businesses and get by,being very frugal. We > have no human children but support five indoor cats and quite a number of feral > ones.We’ve lived in the same tired little house our whole
marriage…36 years. > The studio is the nicest,most recent room,and we spend all day in it. We added > it on in 1989 when we still had "real" jobs. > It’s taken me into my fifties to develop several lasting,dependable > friendships. Maybe part of the success is liking myself enough to show my true > self and not act like a chameleon,trying to please everyone. > Sharon..Live joyously and love much.
I’m 50, not yet menopausal, but apparently past (at least temporarily) the days of heavy bleeds. My last 2 "periods" were about 6 weeks apart, and consisted of 5 or 6 days of mere spotting. This past year I had my longest stretch of no bleeds to date: 5 months. It was wonderful. I still don’t suffer any symptoms, to speak of, so I feel *very* fortunate. My biggest midlife ‘realization’ was the memory of my own mother at about my age, trying to tell us kids (I had 3 siblings; my brother has been dead for 27+ years) that she didn’t have as much energy as she did when she was younger. I now know what she meant, and have the same problem (?) with my own 4 kids–sometimes they don’t quite understand that when I say I’m too tired to play another game of Trivial Pursuit, it’s because I’m too tired! We, too have lived in the same house for many years, and it’s the one we built ourselves in 1977. We should have built a bigger one, but we didn’t have much money back then, and actually didn’t anticipate our children’s grown-up years when the house would be way too small for such a crowd. We’re content, though, because it’s actually very roomy for two people. :) I maintain that I have no "friends", and I like it that way. I have many friendly acquaintances, though, that I enjoy visiting with on occasion, or running into in the grocery store. My best friend from childhood often stops by the office at a quiet time and we have a good visit until other junk intrudes. I really like the peace and quiet of home without the, um, intrusion of the doorbell or the phone–unless it’s one of my children. I don’t enjoy the ’shopping together’ or ‘luncheon out’ type of friendships any longer. (I did when I was younger, but not now.) My oldest child will soon earn his doctorate and will be getting married in August, the second is in her first year of law school (and finally on the right track after an early marriage and divorce), the third is making plans to attend law school once she’s done with her B.S., and the baby (who just turned 20 last month) is in his second year of college (and has finally, after much waffling, decided on a major he actually likes), and about to move into his first apartment. We have 5 garage cats and two min-pins. My most difficult thing to deal with, overall, is probably my aging mother. I am thankful that at 84 she’s basically healthy and alert, still lives in her own house and perfectly capable of handling her own money, but the fetching and carrying is on my shoulders as I’m the only child who lives nearby. Sometimes it really gets me down. Tonight I’ll have a houseful again, so I’d best get up to my kitchen! Happy New Year, everyone! Marilee
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About four years ago we had a thread where everyone posted where they were in menopause, and I feel like starting one now. December 31st seems to be as good a time as any. RuthJ Age: 57 in March Days since last period: 320 Hot Flashes: mostly night sweats, rare hot flashes daytimes. Not taking anything. Mood Swings: Down now. 4 months of zest and then things went awry. Partly SAD, partly deep sadness about the conditions in my county and the world in general, partly my own personal demons. Not necessarily related to menopause. Resigned to feeling this way for a time. Personal: not involved in a relationship nor do I want one. Never thought I would lose my libido and that, I do miss. Makes me feel rather lifeless. Wonder when/if it will return. Professional: living on late Mother’s investments (risky, no one dependent on me); volunteering in the arts 5 afternoons a week; on boards of directors of homeowners’ assn and Wagner Society Board of directors, both of which take more time than I wish to give. Very glad to be in a position to help the arts in our failing economy. Bottom Line: Barring unforseen circumstances, plan to continue life as is. Believe generalized anxiety about the world is justified. Considering the plight of others believe I should be counting my blessings but do not seem to be able to shake the sadness. — "…when women reach a certain age they seem to become immortal." James Thurber, Let your mine ALONE!, Grosset & Dunlap, NY, 1958(?) p. 234
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Well…I’m nearly 57 (Feb birthday) I ended my bleeding years at age 50. With so many of us having problems with hot flashes,I hesitate to say they were never a major problem for me. I had some,but I didn’t think too much about them..they were not debilitating. I went through major mood swings during peri. I didn’t know there was a word "perimenopause",and most of the older women I knew had had hysterectomies,so no one helped me figure out what the heck was going on. Both DH and I have our own small businesses and get by,being very frugal. We have no human children but support five indoor cats and quite a number of feral ones.We’ve lived in the same tired little house our whole marriage…36 years. The studio is the nicest,most recent room,and we spend all day in it. We added it on in 1989 when we still had "real" jobs. It’s taken me into my fifties to develop several lasting,dependable friendships. Maybe part of the success is liking myself enough to show my true self and not act like a chameleon,trying to please everyone. Sharon..Live joyously and love much.
