up all night again …
Question:
silly gooblet ….i love your poem .. i guess it is a bipolar thing but im partial to rhymes myself..::laugh:… i hate that you guys arent sleeping too.. but i must admit it feels good to know im not the only one ….i think im gonna call my doctor this week and ask him what if anything he thinks i should do… maybe another medicine is the key.. i cant afford to miss work or school…. and this is getting worse… but still i like me .. well today i do.. and life without mood swings seems like an incredible bore… but then i dont have to live with me…. what is it like to be normal? a calm in a sea of storms? i wonder about the stillness… the faith that tomorrow will always be as the day before.. but i think that i prefer the mystic .. the dark and turbulent night.. i think ill let you be normal… my single guiding light… jenny
Response:
jenny and Gooblet: wow — you guys are good!! Thanks for the poetry. Jenny — about qo days ago I was having the same sleep problem and it went on and on and on. I would go 48 hours – no sleep. And then sleep for 10-12 hours. I had to go on disability from work because I just couldn’t function anymore. So I started to come to this newsgroup — at night because there was nothing else to do. And i realized that, although I thought I was maintained on teh depakote, that it was probably my bipolar disorder that was causing the insomnia. I couldn’t believe it. And i read about neurontin. So I went to the pdoc and asked about it. I’ve been on it now for about 10 days and I’M sleeping. Every night! And I’m getting up in the mornign without struggling. It’s a miracle. I don’t know fi it will be the same for you, but I just thought I’d share my experience and tell youyou’re not alone. Dara — "I feel like them up there: exposed, larger than life, and due to break my neck…A life I didn’t choose chose me: even my tools are the wrong ones for what I have to do." –Adrienne Rich (The Roofwalker)
Response:
ok ok.. awake 45 hours straight then sleep 10 hours.. come on 10 makes up for 45 yeah? now ive been awake umm… since 10:00am and its 3:30 am you do the math bah….this is crazy..and i know ill probably be embarassed tomorrow but im gonna write something…a poem i suppose… its been popping in and out of my mind all day and if i dont show it to someone and kind of give it life so to speak it will annoy me all day tomorrow and i have a midterm so i need to think about other things …
There must have been something in the air Jenny, ‘cos I couldn’t sleep either and was tormented by a poem. I am no judge of poetry, but I liked yours…or maybe it’s better to say, I can relate, which is what it’s about I guess. Mine rhymes, which probably labels it right away as sort of pathetic (but don’t we manic people often rhyme uncontrollably?) but just so we can be embarrassed together, here is my offering… I lie in bed, but it’s in vain Because I’m temporally insane I know it’s time for me to sleep, But demons steal the time to creep The malicious eyes of my clock radio Mock me with their bloody glow, And they blink the time away SOOOOO SLOW They send me fleeing from my bed, Pursued by voices in my head, To find a temporary shelter From my temporal Helter Skelter But the demons know I’ve not been freed, They wait for me with timeless greed; They know I must return tonight To restless hours in crimson light. Gooblet
Response:
ok ok.. awake 45 hours straight then sleep 10 hours.. come on 10 makes up for 45 yeah? now ive been awake umm… since 10:00am and its 3:30 am you do the math bah….this is crazy.. and i know ill probably be embarassed tomorrow but im gonna write something… a poem i suppose… its been popping in and out of my mind all day and if i dont show it to someone and kind of give it life so to speak it will annoy me all day tomorrow and i have a midterm so i need to think about other things … im babbling i realize this… here goes.. I used to want to run far and long and fast until I was out of breath my knees shaking my body collapsing until I couldn’t run anymore then I found there was no need to destroy my body it was already weak and defeated and I didn’t need too and it hurt I wanted to conquer myself I wanted to walk on the edge but I was already pushed over and the feeling is still there I want to runaway I want to run and run and run but its starting to become dim like a light slowly fading and I’m becoming numb and I’m tired and I don’t want to run and I’m scared of being tired scared of being numb I need to defeat myself
