Question:
Really, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a child being in her bed for an hour or so when she isn’t sleeping. The 31/2 year old girl I nanny still naps for 2 hours but there is the occasional day when she doesn’t fall asleep. She stays in her bed for about 45 min to an hour, talking to her toys, looking at books and just relaxing. I feel this quiet time is beneficial to both the child AND the parent. Just because a child doesn’t need the sleep in the afternoons anymore, does not mean she doesn’t need the quiet time to lay down and relax. You may also try moving her nap ahead one hour maybe (ie instead of 1:00, try 1:45 or 2:00) And don’t let her sleep longer than an hour so she’ll go to bed at the right time! It is okay for your child to know Mommy needs her quiet time too to have a bath or read. Cymrucelt – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My almost 3 1/2 year old has always needed a two hour afternoon nap. In January, she decided she didn’t want to nap anymore and even though I would put her up in her bed, an hour later she’d be wide awake. Eventually I decided she really was giving up her nap and let her stay awake. The problem is she gets very cranky about 4:30 in the afternoon without her nap, though after about an hour she works through it and is fine until 7:30. She goes to bed at 7:30 without fuss. Another problem is that she has a gymnastics class once a week at 4:30 and began behaving badly in it because she was so tired (she has nursery school that morning as well–she goes 3 times a week). I pulled her out of the class for a month, hoping she would settle into no nap and not be so cranky at 4:30. II tried napping her a few times to see if she really did still that nap, but not only can I not nap her reliably, she stays up until almost 10:00 on the days she does nap, which is not what I want. A further problem is that this weekend, we had a busy weekend, and on Saturday took her to a little fun fair type thing for kids and then had a babysitter in for the evening. She loves the babysitter and was good as gold, including going to bed on time. But the next day, she was tired looking all day. We had friends with a little 3 year old boy over that day (the boy is a good friend of my daughter’s) and they stayed for supper. By 5:00, my daughter obviously needed to be in bed. I tried calming her down but she would not sit still and was off the wall until I dragged her upstairs at 7:00. She went to sleep immediately, but at 10:30 she woke up screaming in what I have seen described as a night terror. She was sort of awake but not really, and she was not comforted by my coming in and soothing her. She screamed for 1/2 an hour, kicking at me and thrashing around. She finally gulped out that she didn’t want her friend to go home and that she didn’t like it when he took her food. Then she drifted off to sleep. She woke up three more times in the night, though she didn’t scream and settled quickly. I need advice on whether this signals she really does need that nap and I have to find a way to get her to accept it. I don’t want her up until 10:00 at night, or lying in her bed for over an hour in the day without sleeping, but I also don’t want her to behave poorly every afternoon around 4:30 or to have night terrors. Help! Gerry
Response:
Gerry- You don’t say what time she gets up in the morning. Would it be possible for you to wake her up an hour or so earlier than normal and see if she if tired enough to nap later in the day? I understand how frustrating it can be when there are schedules to be met and naps that need to be taken. My daughter is 5.5 yrs and she STILL needs a nap. However, she goes to Mother’s Day Out with me on T & Th (I work there) and she has preschool in the afternoon on both days as well as on Wed. The problem is that she doesn’t get home until 3 pm on those days and if she takes a nap she will sleep for 2 hours and then not want to sleep until after 10 that night. She will, at least, lay down in her room and try to go to sleep though. I just feel bad that she has to lay there for an hour or more when she isn’t the least bit tired. But if she doesn’t get that nap after having a long day in MDO & preschool, she is a wild woman. She doesn’t necessarily get cranky, just very ornery and curious. (You know what that can mean.) Good luck and hope you can find a solution soon. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My almost 3 1/2 year old has always needed a two hour afternoon nap. In January, she decided she didn’t want to nap anymore and even though I would put her up in her bed, an hour later she’d be wide awake. Eventually I decided she really was giving up her nap and let her stay awake. The problem is she gets very cranky about 4:30 in the afternoon without her nap, though after about an hour she works through it and is fine until 7:30. She goes to bed at 7:30 without fuss. Another problem is that she has a gymnastics class once a week at 4:30 and began behaving badly in it because she was so tired (she has nursery school that morning as well–she goes 3 times a week). I pulled her out of the class for a month, hoping she would settle into no nap and not be so cranky at 4:30. II tried napping her a few times to see if she really did still that nap, but not only can I not nap her reliably, she stays up until almost 10:00 on the days she does nap, which is not what I want. A further problem is that this weekend, we had a busy weekend, and on Saturday took her to a little fun fair type thing for kids and then had a babysitter in for the evening. She loves the babysitter and was good as gold, including going to bed on time. But the next day, she was tired looking all day. We had friends with a little 3 year old boy over that day (the boy is a good friend of my daughter’s) and they stayed for supper. By 5:00, my daughter obviously needed to be in bed. I tried calming her down but she would not sit still and was off the wall until I dragged her upstairs at 7:00. She went to sleep immediately, but at 10:30 she woke up screaming in what I have seen described as a night terror. She was sort of awake but not really, and she was not comforted by my coming in and soothing her. She screamed for 1/2 an hour, kicking at me and thrashing around. She finally gulped out that she didn’t want her friend to go home and that she didn’t like it when he took her food. Then she drifted off to sleep. She woke up three more times in the night, though she didn’t scream and settled quickly. I need advice on whether this signals she really does need that nap and I have to find a way to get her to accept it. I don’t want her up until 10:00 at night, or lying in her bed for over an hour in the day without sleeping, but I also don’t want her to behave poorly every afternoon around 4:30 or to have night terrors. Help! Gerry
Response:
My almost 3 1/2 year old has always needed a two hour afternoon nap.
I don’t want her up until 10:00 at night, or lying in her bed for over an hour in the day without sleeping, but I also don’t want her to behave poorly every afternoon around 4:30 or to have night terrors.
Sounds to me like she needs *something* and I don’t see what is the problem with her resting / reading / having quiet time / OR napping in her room some or all afternoons. And for more than an hour. It sounds like she has a very hectic life (3 mornings at school and one p.m. gym class), so it’s not like she’s short of stimulation. –Janet Triplets (10/21/96)
Response:
I found with my daughter (just turned 4) that we alternate naps. Probably about 3 – 4 days a week she’ll nap and the rest (usually on my 3 days off) she won’t. On these days I try to keep her busy doing fun things outside the house, and I don’t seem to notice the behaviour that much. It’s usually when we are at home that she has tantrums and you can tell that she is tired & bored. I also enjoy having her stay up late some nights. We make it a "popcorn" night for just the 2 girls. I try to arrange it for when I will be off the next day, and no one has to rush out of bed. Not sure if this helps, but at least it’s a different way of looking at it. Margo Mom to Sarah (2/95) & Daniel (10/97)
Response:
Sharon, thank you for your suggestions. I think quiet time is a good idea, too. The problems I had with it are that on the Monday of my daughter’s gymnastics class, the rest was not enough for her. After being upstairs in her bed for an hour and a half–not even close to sleeping–she was so tired for the class she behaved very poorly and then fell asleep in the car almost as soon as I put her in her seat. Then she was up till 10:00 that night. I have taken her out of the class for a month, as I said, but I hate to give it up altogether because not only does she enjoy it, it was recommended to me by her orthopedic surgeon as a way to keep her from a toeing in problem. Also, when I have been successful at napping her over the last two months, we have always paid the price at bedtime, as she stays awake until 10:00. The late bedtime is what made me think she must really be ready to give up the nap–but the daytime behaviour on a day when we have activities in it suggests otherwise. I know there’s no easy answer–thanks for the help! Gerry – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Gerry, We are kind of in the same boat here. My son just turned 3 and there are lots of days that he doesn’t want a nap. My daughter was a good napper till about 4. What I did was institute "quiet time" in place of a nap. It sounds like she doesn’t always need that extra sleep. But she does need some down time. For quiet time my kids were allowed to look at books or listen to their tape players in bed for a couple hours. They got some rest and some down time, and were fine for the rest of the day. And still went to bed just fine. I think on the days she has a busy day, she still needs that nap. A lot of times with my two I would put them down and say they could just have quiet time instead of a nap but then they would fall asleep. Which told me they needed that sleep. Also you might think about finding something quiet for her to do in the late afternoon since that is when she gets grumpy. Like put on a video and ask her to sit or lay down to watch it. That way, she gets a break and a little bit of a rest and should make it to bedtime ok. I noticed with my kids too if they had a very busy day and were a little overstimulated that sleep was harder for them. I know I am the same way, if I have a busy day sometimes I can’t get my mind to "shut off" and let me sleep well. I imagine that was what happened over the weekend. I know you said you didn’t want her to lay in bed for an hour and not sleep, but if that gives her the rest she needs to get through till bedtime, it might be worth it. And it will give you a break too and let you be better able to handle things if she is grumpy later on. You might think about asking her to take a nap on the days she goes to preschool and just let her have quiet time on the other days. She is big enough to understand that "we had a very busy day so you need to take a nap." -vs- "we had a quiet day today and you don’t have to go to sleep, just read your books and rest a little bit." That has worked really well for me. I hope you find something that works for you soon. Even if you don’t use any of my suggestions. Good luck and happy dreams to both of you! Sharon
Response:
Wow, you have just described our situation with our 3 1/2 yr old son We basically given up on trying to get him to nap during the afternoon and about 5:00 pm We’ll start to wind him down by giving him an early bath That usually will rejuvinate him for another hour or so, then snack time and he is sleeping before 8:00 pm If I really need him up for company or something like that I would take him for a car ride about noon or 1:00 that never fails. He fall asleep then for a good hour or two but yes, he will be up untill 10 or 11 an night. I too would like to hear opions on this thanks
Response:
Gerry, We are kind of in the same boat here. My son just turned 3 and there are lots of days that he doesn’t want a nap. My daughter was a good napper till about 4. What I did was institute "quiet time" in place of a nap. It sounds like she doesn’t always need that extra sleep. But she does need some down time. For quiet time my kids were allowed to look at books or listen to their tape players in bed for a couple hours. They got some rest and some down time, and were fine for the rest of the day. And still went to bed just fine. I think on the days she has a busy day, she still needs that nap. A lot of times with my two I would put them down and say they could just have quiet time instead of a nap but then they would fall asleep. Which told me they needed that sleep. Also you might think about finding something quiet for her to do in the late afternoon since that is when she gets grumpy. Like put on a video and ask her to sit or lay down to watch it. That way, she gets a break and a little bit of a rest and should make it to bedtime ok. I noticed with my kids too if they had a very busy day and were a little overstimulated that sleep was harder for them. I know I am the same way, if I have a busy day sometimes I can’t get my mind to "shut off" and let me sleep well. I imagine that was what happened over the weekend. I know you said you didn’t want her to lay in bed for an hour and not sleep, but if that gives her the rest she needs to get through till bedtime, it might be worth it. And it will give you a break too and let you be better able to handle things if she is grumpy later on. You might think about asking her to take a nap on the days she goes to preschool and just let her have quiet time on the other days. She is big enough to understand that "we had a very busy day so you need to take a nap." -vs- "we had a quiet day today and you don’t have to go to sleep, just read your books and rest a little bit." That has worked really well for me. I hope you find something that works for you soon. Even if you don’t use any of my suggestions. Good luck and happy dreams to both of you! Sharon
Response:
My almost 3 1/2 year old has always needed a two hour afternoon nap. In January, she decided she didn’t want to nap anymore and even though I would put her up in her bed, an hour later she’d be wide awake. Eventually I decided she really was giving up her nap and let her stay awake. The problem is she gets very cranky about 4:30 in the afternoon without her nap, though after about an hour she works through it and is fine until 7:30. She goes to bed at 7:30 without fuss. Another problem is that she has a gymnastics class once a week at 4:30 and began behaving badly in it because she was so tired (she has nursery school that morning as well–she goes 3 times a week). I pulled her out of the class for a month, hoping she would settle into no nap and not be so cranky at 4:30. II tried napping her a few times to see if she really did still that nap, but not only can I not nap her reliably, she stays up until almost 10:00 on the days she does nap, which is not what I want. A further problem is that this weekend, we had a busy weekend, and on Saturday took her to a little fun fair type thing for kids and then had a babysitter in for the evening. She loves the babysitter and was good as gold, including going to bed on time. But the next day, she was tired looking all day. We had friends with a little 3 year old boy over that day (the boy is a good friend of my daughter’s) and they stayed for supper. By 5:00, my daughter obviously needed to be in bed. I tried calming her down but she would not sit still and was off the wall until I dragged her upstairs at 7:00. She went to sleep immediately, but at 10:30 she woke up screaming in what I have seen described as a night terror. She was sort of awake but not really, and she was not comforted by my coming in and soothing her. She screamed for 1/2 an hour, kicking at me and thrashing around. She finally gulped out that she didn’t want her friend to go home and that she didn’t like it when he took her food. Then she drifted off to sleep. She woke up three more times in the night, though she didn’t scream and settled quickly. I need advice on whether this signals she really does need that nap and I have to find a way to get her to accept it. I don’t want her up until 10:00 at night, or lying in her bed for over an hour in the day without sleeping, but I also don’t want her to behave poorly every afternoon around 4:30 or to have night terrors. Help! Gerry
Response:
I have been having Panic Attacks for the last 10 to 15 years, I have had drug studies done at Uof M Hospital in Ann Arbor, Mi. I have when from Xanax, to Ativan, to Klonipin with an Ativan Chaser, BUT NOW my Doctor has but me on The Zoloft Panic Pack (7 days at 25 mg and 14 days of 50 mg a day) with Ativan as needed. My question is, as anyone found this affective? I have been taking the Zoloft for 5 days now and discontinued my Klonipin (ran out or I would be back on them) and I am having VERY BAD night terror( 6 or 7 times a night that I remember). I feel like my Anxiety has heightened, also feel like I could come out of my skin at any time. I guess I was wondering if anyone has had the same experience with Zoloft? Thank You for any answer’s you might could offer. Phil..very tired of it all in Mich..:) 
)). But he was so scared or upset! He eventually just stopped. We comforted and made sure he was okay, maybe gave him a drink of juice, talked for a sec and then he would be back out like a light. It is normal, there minds are going a mile a minute at her age. It’s okay! Sheri – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We have been concerned for the past few days after our 2 year old girl started having bad dreams. She talks in her sleep as if she is upset about something and wakes up crying until we can get her fully awake. Is this normal? She is a _very_ happy little girl in every other way, developing very well, and we can’t think of any traumatic event which could have triggered this problem. We have a very stable and comforting home environment as well. We would like to find out if this is normal, for one thing, but also need some advice on how to deal with it. Do we wake her up when we see that she is having a bad dream? — Vance McAlister 