Need your advice on sleep apnea
Question:
My boyfriend has sleep apnea (at least based on my research, he seems to…) However, he refuses to see a doctor. It has almost ruined our relationship – we live together, but now sleep in separate rooms!!! Here are his reasons for not going to the sleep disorder center (he does have a referral, just will NOT go…) 1. Doesn’t have time in his busy week. 2. "My insurance probably doesn’t cover it." 3. "They’ll make me wear that ‘funny’ mask." 4. "All they’ll tell me is that I need to lose weight." 5. "If I have to wear ‘that mask’, how will I be able to sleep on my stomach???" Does anyone have any answers to these "excuses" for not going. He really needs to go, because all he ever does now is SLEEP! He’s tired all the time, but doesn’t see the cause behind it (in fact, he’s sleeping right now!) Any help, comments, and/or sympathy will be greatly appreciated! Debbie in Baltimore ——————-==== Posted via Deja News ====———————– http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Response:
debs…@rocketmail.com wrote: >My boyfriend has sleep apnea (at least based on my research, he seems >to…) However, he refuses to see a doctor. It has almost ruined our >relationship – we live together, but now sleep in separate rooms!!!
Acute chronic sleep deprivation will cause depression. I had the same sort of problem. Anybody that told me I needed help would get told off in vulgar terms, because I just didn’t give a shit. Try making a recording of his snoring and play it back for him. That’s what did it for me. The sound of somebody being choked to death about once a minute… note that from: address is bogus to defeat Unsolicited Commercial Email (UCE) ten"tod"liamria"ta"ssenkrah ssenkraH drawoH (should be easy enough to decrypt) This is not my address, it’s for the harvest-bot: fraudi…@psinet.com
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Howard Lee Harkness wrote: > debs…@rocketmail.com wrote: > >My boyfriend has sleep apnea (at least based on my research, he seems > >to…) However, he refuses to see a doctor. It has almost ruined our > >relationship – we live together, but now sleep in separate rooms!!! > Acute chronic sleep deprivation will cause depression. I had the same sort of > problem. Anybody that told me I needed help would get told off in vulgar terms, > because I just didn’t give a shit. > Try making a recording of his snoring and play it back for him. That’s what did > it for me. The sound of somebody being choked to death about once a minute… > note that from: address is bogus to defeat Unsolicited Commercial Email (UCE) > ten"tod"liamria"ta"ssenkrah ssenkraH drawoH (should be easy enough to decrypt) > This is not my address, it’s for the harvest-bot: fraudi…@psinet.com
Howard, got it! Thanks for the advice, but unfortunately, I tried the tape recorder theory MONTHS ago. All he did was get angry, and refused to listen. I decided to tape him one night when I couldn’t take it any more. Just curious… are you currently using a CPAP for management of sleep apnea? AND if so, how uncomfortable is its use? Thanx! Debsterado — ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* >>SMILE…IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER WHAT YOU’RE UP TO!<<
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*debs…@rocketmail.com~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Response:
debs…@rocketmail.com wrote: > 1. Doesn’t have time in his busy week.
Well who does, but if he gets his sleep apnea taken care of, he’ll have *more* time because he won’t be sleeping away all that extra time. > 2. "My insurance probably doesn’t cover it."
You don’t know until you ask. I didn’t know that Kaiser would cover my CPAP until I asked. > 3. "They’ll make me wear that ‘funny’ mask."
It’s not funny to someone you love. And there are alternatives such as the pillows. I don’t enjoy the mask, but I sleep so much better with it on, that it’s worth it. > 4. "All they’ll tell me is that I need to lose weight."
I’m very fat and no one said this to me. Indeed, if the apnea is at the life-threatening state (as mine was as I was having extreme difficulty staying awake driving), this is utterly stupid to say to someone. One couldn’t possibly lose weight fast enough (and safely enough) to stop the sleep apnea, especially as the CPAP gives instant relief. > 5. "If I have to wear ‘that mask’, how will I be able to sleep on my > stomach???"
Well, you won’t. On the other hand, you’ll be sleeping so much more soundly that you won’t be tossing and turning all night and needing to get in different positions as I used to do. I think the CPAP is great. My husband thinks it’s great because I don’t snore like I used to. I sleep so much better that his thrashing about at night doesn’t wake me like it used to, also. Even the cats have gotten used to it. (My male cat was very upset at first because he’s used to me waking up constantly and him getting petting all night long as a result. I don’t wake up now and he doesn’t get petted at midnight and 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., etc.) Debbie, I hope your boyfriend gets this checked out before something really serious happens to him. It took a close encounter with another car for me to call the doctor. (Fortunately there was no accident, but it shook me up enough to realize I needed help immediately.) Best wishes, Berni Phillips ber…@ix.netcom.com
Response:
Informative reference material like the book ‘Phantom of the Night’ might help your friend. OSA is a manageable condition that may affect his enjoyment of today and put him at risk (health) over the longer term. Chronic fatigue caused by OSA will greatly increase hazards at work, at home and while driving or operating equipment. It is sometimes difficult for a chronically fatigued person to find the energy to do something about the condition and the remedies are not always as smooth as we would like. However, the effort sure is worth it! Anyone who takes the time to monitor this group can’t help but be impressed with the dedication that the participants express towards the self-management of their condition. Good Luck Don – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <862096088.17…@dejanews.com> debs…@rocketmail.com writes: >Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 18:11:18 -0600 >From: debs…@rocketmail.com >Subject: Need your advice on sleep apnea >My boyfriend has sleep apnea (at least based on my research, he seems >to…) However, he refuses to see a doctor. It has almost ruined our >relationship – we live together, but now sleep in separate rooms!!! >Here are his reasons for not going to the sleep disorder center (he does >have a referral, just will NOT go…) >1. Doesn’t have time in his busy week. >2. "My insurance probably doesn’t cover it." >3. "They’ll make me wear that ‘funny’ mask." >4. "All they’ll tell me is that I need to lose weight." >5. "If I have to wear ‘that mask’, how will I be able to sleep on my > stomach???" >Does anyone have any answers to these "excuses" for not going. He really >needs to go, because all he ever does now is SLEEP! He’s tired all the >time, but doesn’t see the cause behind it (in fact, he’s sleeping right >now!) >Any help, comments, and/or sympathy will be greatly appreciated! >Debbie in Baltimore >——————-==== Posted via Deja News ====———————– > http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Response:
I did not seek help for many years. The sleep deperivation was killing me. I could not work. I could not drive, it made my life a living hell. It took me close to one year to get use to the cpap machine. My pressure setting is 18. i can now sleep at night, and drive. It was very embarassing nodding ou during the day at clients or in the middle of meetings. Your boyfriend is crazy not to get help. Maybe he should read the posts in this section. Apr…@aol.com
Response:
Hi Debbie Be careful to do your research on the Laws in your State and neighbouring States regarding Apnea BEFORE you send him for a Sleep Test. The BEFORE is IMPORTANT. In Ontario, Canada, the SCAM works like this. Your boyfriend goes to his doctor and tells of your complaint of his snoring and holding his breath. His doctor referrs him to a Respirologist. He tells the Renpirologist of your complaint and a Polysomnogram (Sleep Test) is booked. AFTER the Sleep Test, if your boyfriend has the slightest indication of Apnea, the Respirologist then informs him of the LAW. Our Highway Traffic Act reads something like "it is an offence for any licenced medical practitioner to fail to inform The Ministry of Transportation of the Name and Address of any patient whose medical condition MAY affect the operation of a motor vehicle". That word "MAY" means a lot of different things to different Doctors, Lawyers, and Patients. Many or Most doctors read it to mean that they better "protect their own ass" and inform on the slightest Apnea. At this point, your boyfriend is already F_____ for the rest of his life. There is no way to UNDO that I know of. Now the Respirologist writes a letter to the MOT with at least your boyfriend’s Name, Address, and diagnosis. Next the MOT sends your boyfriend a letter with an attached form. The form is an unconditional and un-time-limited release of private medical records about him to the MOT. The letter is a threat that unless he signs the form and returns it by a certain date (about 30 days) his Driver’s Licence WILL be suspended. By signing the form he also assumes full responsibility for the cost of providing this information and any further tests, information or anything else the MOT deems necessary to determine his fitness to operate a motor vehicle. Don’t sign the form and your Licence is GONE. Sign the form and the Government has access to everything that he thought was private communication between him and his doctor – Forever. How does he answer a question from the Doctor on his next visit, when he knows that he is not only answering the Doctor but the Government is also listening. This is a closed loop, The Government continually monitoring COMPLIANCE with treatment and his Doctor required to supply the information and your boyfriend required to submit to whatever testing and treatment the Government deems necessary. This sounds UGLY enough, BUT WAIT – All of the latest model CPAP and BIPAP machines that I have seen have a Telephone Jack on them. Why? To download COMPLIANCE data directly to the Sleep Center. Yes the one he authorized the Government access to his medical records at. If his mask falls off when he turns over in his sleep, the Government could know about this IN REAL TIME. COULD it get WORSE? There are machines that have built in EKG right now. They are too expensive right now to be a consumer machine, but I expect that the computing power for this will reduce in cost enough in the next two years or so that it can be built into consumer models. Now what have you got when you combine an EKG, a modem, and a release of medical information to the Government? Holy Shit, A Government beaurocrat watching his brain waves IN REAL TIME? Sound Unbelieveable. Go to a medical supply store and look at their CPAP and BIPAP machines and see if they have a Telephone Jack. Ask what that Jack is for. California is about to pass the same kind of law that Ontario has about Apnea. I am not sure about other States or Provinces. Check it out FIRST. If there is such a law in effect in your juristiction, once he takes the test, there is no way to go back. John Matyi jma…@mnsi.net
Response:
A BIG Thank You to everyone who responded to my need for advice on my boyfriend’s sleep apnea problem. This was my first time posting a question to the group, and the response has been GREAT! Thanks for letting me know you cared, and for letting me know that I’m not crazy!!! Deb in Baltimore — ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* >>SMILE…IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER WHAT YOU’RE UP TO!<<
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*debs…@rocketmail.com~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Response:
If you’re tired of being tired all the time, I’d like to ask you a few questions… If you could find out a way to feel better naturally, would you want to find out about it? Would you agree to write your story once you feel better after trying the product? If you answered "yes" for both, please email me your name, address and phone # and I’ll send you the details about this wonderful product that has helped thousands of people with various medical problems.. My email is airfr…@juno.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -jes43…@aol.com (Jes43614) wrote: >how about: >1) it’s life threatening >2)can cause heart attacks, strokes, and kidney disease >3)insurance will pay for the testing and treatment >4)the funny mask can save his life and your relationship >I have obstructive sleep apnea, and i am tired of being tired all of the >time. I went to the sleep clinic, i have the cpap and the funny >mask(allthough) i prefer the nasal >pillows) and it does take some getting used to, but ask him if he has ever >woken up feeling rested and ready to go and if he would like to. >jso…@earthlink.net
Response:
how about: 1) it’s life threatening 2)can cause heart attacks, strokes, and kidney disease 3)insurance will pay for the testing and treatment 4)the funny mask can save his life and your relationship I have obstructive sleep apnea, and i am tired of being tired all of the time. I went to the sleep clinic, i have the cpap and the funny mask(allthough) i prefer the nasal pillows) and it does take some getting used to, but ask him if he has ever woken up feeling rested and ready to go and if he would like to. jso…@earthlink.net
Response:
I knew for years I might have apnea, but I refused to really admit it to myself. When it got to the point where I couldn’t stay awake more than 10 minutes at a time while driving and my co-workers were complaining to my boss about the snoring coming from my cubicle, I knew I had to get help. The apnea was killing me. I had no strength. I would get winded just walking across the room. there were dark circles under my eyes all the time. The longer I stayed in bed, the less rested I felt. It might take your boyfriend to get to this stage before he goes for help, or he might just die. The only thing I can suggest is tell him that if he doesn’t go for help you are leaving because you love him too much to just sit around and watch him die when there is no need for it.
Response:
SGeise wrote: > Hi, > Are you, and especially HIM, aware of how dangerous Apnea is?
GOOD LUCK *STEVE* He does the work of three men..Moe, Larry, and Curly Steve, Yes, oh yes, I am fully aware of the dangers and risks associated with sleep apnea. We’ve had so many arguments about this issue, it is not even funny! I went to the library (prior to being on the net…) and got a book out and showed him the page listing many of the ailments associated with sleep apnea. Still didn’t work. We are coming down to a meltdown here, and I am just waiting for that "receptive" moment this weekend, when I will show him all the mail I’ve received on this subject. Thank you for the info. And as for the good luck wishes, I will need them. I’ll keep everyone posted on how THAT discussion goes… Deb — ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* >>SMILE…IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER WHAT YOU’RE UP TO!<<
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*debs…@rocketmail.com~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Response:
Debbie, Just one more two-cents worth in this long and encouraging thread. Look, nobody can MAKE anyone do anything they don’t want to do. (Gunpoint doesn’t count.) So why not make a deal with your honey, and promise him that if he’ll go just once to see the sleep specialist with you (most of them will want to interview both the snorer and the bedpartner, anyway), and just talk to the doctor and listen to what he has to say, that you’ll get off his case and won’t ever complain or use the "s" word again. Promise him you’ll pay him a dollar every time you use the "s" word. (Then call the sleep center and make sure they know about this deal — they’ll have to be sure to schedule your partner for a sleep study right away!) Remind him that nobody can MAKE him do anything. Nobody can MAKE him lose weight, or use one of those funny nose things. It’s all up to him. He has nothing to lose by just going to the doc and listening. Even if he goes along with this, and agrees to have the sleep study, still nobody can MAKE him have any treatment if he doesn’t want to. He can say no whenever he wants to, and just getting more information can’t hurt him. A last ditch strategy is to make the appointment at the sleep center, and then tell him, and be sure he knows that if he refuses to go he’ll still have to pay for the appointment. If you can get this guy diagnosed, it will be the best thing you’ve ever done for him. I’m a 10-year CPAP spouse, I’ve been there. You can do it, and someday he’ll thank you! Best wishes, Sally in Seattle JSo…@aol.com Coauthor, with Dr. Ralph Pascualy, of Snoring and Sleep Apnea: Personal and Family Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment, published in 1996 by Demos Vermande, NY.
Response:
Hi, Are you, and especially HIM, aware of how dangerous Apnea is? Sufferers run a much higher risk of heart attack and/or stroke. When you suffer from Apnea, the snoring is really only an irritation, in this case, to you. If he has Apnea, his heart isn’t getting the rest it needs at night. Stroke and heart attacks are a risk, due at least in part, to lowered blood oxygen. Another very real risk, is falling asleep in the middle of a dangerous activity, like driving. I hope you drag him screaming, if nessasary, to the Dr. to be checked out. If it is Apnea, he WILL thank you after he starts treatment, it can have a rapid dramatic effect. GOOD LUCK *STEVE* He does the work of three men..Moe, Larry, and Curly
Response:
John Matyi <jma…@mnsi.net> writes:
John: This issue is an emerging one and important for all with sleep apnea, their physicians, etc. Since untreated sleep apnea predisposes people to a real increase in risk of car crashes, it does seem reasonable to identify them, make sure they are treated, and restrict their driving privilege if they don’t respond to treatment. I’d expect the State to take equally stringent action to protect citizens against drunk drivers, people who expose us to their cigarettes smoke, or who like to carry loaded weapons. In every case there needs to be a balancing between individual rights and privacy rights on the one hand, and the risks to society. As to the individual, if you have apnea and you don’t get treated, you basically forfeit a good dealof your life and you become a threat to everyone around you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi Debbie > Be careful to do your research on the Laws in your State and >neighbouring >States regarding Apnea BEFORE you send him for a Sleep Test. > The BEFORE is IMPORTANT. > In Ontario, Canada, the SCAM works like this. > Your boyfriend goes to his doctor and tells of your complaint of his >snoring and holding his breath. His doctor referrs him to a >Respirologist. >He tells the Renpirologist of your complaint and a Polysomnogram (Sleep >Test) is booked. > AFTER the Sleep Test, if your boyfriend has the slightest indication >of >Apnea, the Respirologist then informs him of the LAW. Our Highway >Traffic >Act reads something like "it is an offence for any licenced medical >practitioner to fail to inform The Ministry of Transportation of the >Name >and Address of any patient whose medical condition MAY affect the >operation of a motor vehicle". That word "MAY" means a lot of different >things to different Doctors, Lawyers, and Patients. Many or Most doctors >read it to mean that they better "protect their own ass" and inform on >the >slightest Apnea. > At this point, your boyfriend is already F_____ for the rest of his >life. >There is no way to UNDO that I know of. > Now the Respirologist writes a letter to the MOT with at least your >boyfriend’s Name, Address, and diagnosis. > Next the MOT sends your boyfriend a letter with an attached form. The >form is an unconditional and un-time-limited release of private medical >records about him to the MOT. The letter is a threat that unless he >signs >the form and returns it by a certain date (about 30 days) his Driver’s >Licence WILL be suspended. By signing the form he also assumes full >responsibility for the cost of providing this information and any >further >tests, information or anything else the MOT deems necessary to determine >his fitness to operate a motor vehicle. > Don’t sign the form and your Licence is GONE. > Sign the form and the Government has access to everything that he >thought was private communication between him and his doctor – Forever. > How does he answer a question from the Doctor on his next visit, when >he knows that he is not only answering the Doctor but the Government >is also listening. > This is a closed loop, The Government continually monitoring >COMPLIANCE with treatment and his Doctor required to supply the >information and your boyfriend required to submit to whatever testing >and treatment the Government deems necessary. > This sounds UGLY enough, BUT WAIT – > All of the latest model CPAP and BIPAP machines that I have seen >have a Telephone Jack on them. Why? To download COMPLIANCE data directly >to the Sleep Center. Yes the one he authorized the Government access >to his medical records at. If his mask falls off when he turns over in >his sleep, the Government could know about this IN REAL TIME. > COULD it get WORSE? > There are machines that have built in EKG right now. They are too >expensive right now to be a consumer machine, but I expect that the >computing power for this will reduce in cost enough in the next two >years >or so that it can be built into consumer models. > Now what have you got when you combine an EKG, a modem, and a release >of medical information to the Government? > Holy Shit, A Government beaurocrat watching his brain waves IN REAL >TIME? > Sound Unbelieveable. > Go to a medical supply store and look at their CPAP and BIPAP machines >and see if they have a Telephone Jack. Ask what that Jack is for. > California is about to pass the same kind of law that Ontario has >about Apnea. I am not sure about other States or Provinces. Check it out >FIRST. If there is such a law in effect in your juristiction, once he >takes the test, there is no way to go back. >John Matyi >jma…@mnsi.net
– Jerry Halberstadt. *President, New Technology Publishing, Inc: Health & Business Resources *Principal, FORESIGHT: Visionary business plans. * PHANTOM SLEEP PAGE <http://www.newtechpub.com/> *<halbe…@world.std.com> * 6 W.Blvd. POB 1737, Onset MA 02558 USA.
Response:
Debbie (debs…@rocketmail.com) posted: =Here are his reasons for not going to the sleep disorder center (he does =have a referral, just will NOT go…) = =1. Doesn’t have time in his busy week. =2. "My insurance probably doesn’t cover it." =3. "They’ll make me wear that ‘funny’ mask." I just went in and had the CPAP titration, which means they fit me with a sort of CPAP mask that they can change the air pressure on, and then they changed the pressure all night long until they got what they judged was the right amount for me. My suggestion would be that you try to get him to just get this stage done. Tell him to go in and have the titration done. Once he’s been mea- sured for the mask, promise to never bother him again, on the condition that he objectively judge whether he slept better _during_ the titration itself than he has ever slept in recent history. I will concede to him that that mask they put me on was humongous and awkward. But all that pales in comparison to the good night sleep I had. If he experiences that good night’s sleep and ends up _not_ wanting to get a mask, at least he’s been exposed to a portion of what he might have had. Let me note, too, the amount of restfulness I felt kept increasing un- til the next day. That is, I felt like I had a good night sleep last Tues- day morning, the day after the test, but I felt like I’d _really_ had a good night’s sleep Wednesday morning. I’m not quite sure why it worked that way, but that was my experience. —Kevin Simonson
Response:
debs…@rocketmail.com writes: >My boyfriend has sleep apnea (at least based on my research, he seems >to…) However, he refuses to see a doctor. It has almost ruined our >relationship – we live together, but now sleep in separate rooms!!! >Here are his reasons for not going to the sleep disorder center (he does >have a referral, just will NOT go…) >1. Doesn’t have time in his busy week.
If you slept better at night you would be able to function better and get things done. >2. "My insurance probably doesn’t cover it."
Probably? You haven’t asked? If you thought you had cancer and a treatment were available, would you or would you not DEMAND treatment and INSIST that you were covered? Give me a break. >3. "They’ll make me wear that ‘funny’ mask."
While you are asleep. ANd then your beautiful girfriend would also be able to sleep. >4. "All they’ll tell me is that I need to lose weight."
Actually, weight loss is easier AFTER you get treated for your apnea (if you have it) because you will have more energy. >5. "If I have to wear ‘that mask’, how will I be able to sleep on my > stomach???"
Give me a break. If you have this problem, write to this support group and you will be given several good ideas. >Does anyone have any answers to these "excuses" for not going.
People with sleep apnea are tired all the time, suffer intellectual and emotional problems as a result of the lack of restorative sleep, and aren’t even aware of how badly they are functioning. He really >needs to go, because all he ever does now is SLEEP! He’s tired all the >time, but doesn’t see the cause behind it (in fact, he’s sleeping right >now!)
Drag him to the doctor. Additional ideas on the Phantom Sleep Page www.newtechpub.com/phantom, especially the Sleep Apnea FAQ. >Any help, comments, and/or sympathy will be greatly appreciated! >Debbie in Baltimore >——————-==== Posted via Deja News ====———————– > http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
– Jerry Halberstadt. *President, New Technology Publishing, Inc: Health & Business Resources *Principal, FORESIGHT: Visionary business plans. * PHANTOM SLEEP PAGE <http://www.newtechpub.com/> *<halbe…@world.std.com> * 6 W.Blvd. POB 1737, Onset MA 02558 USA.
