an oldtimer returns to say hello
Question:
Greetings! If you were here prior to 2000, I’m popping in to say hello! Jackie, Philip, etc., you’d have known me by a different nick (FromBuffalo) but it’s ME and I’m still alive (Well, most days at least). I’m happy to report that my panic disorder is GONE and that is not a joke. Lucky for me, it was situational and once I *divorced* that situation, I never had another P/A and it’s been about 4 years. Sure, the anxiety is ever present but a one month script of .5 mgs Xanax last me 3-5 months now and I am not on any other meds. At present, I’m in need of a much more thorough and current check up in regard to stress/anxiety/depression(?)and may possibly have to enter a sleep disorder clinic before ruling out the possibility of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I popped in to #anx/pan Irc chat this weekend for the first time in ages and was overwhelmed with grief by the news I received there… It made me realize how important many of you here were to me during those times when I needed it most. Although it’s been a while and I’m not in touch anymore, I wanted to return albeit however briefly and say thank you. I’ll always remember the friends I made in usenet and think of you often. Post me an update if you can. Hope you are all well. Kathi — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Lucky for me, it was situational and once I *divorced* that situation, I never had another P/A and it’s been about 4 years. Sure, the anxiety is ever present but a one month script of .5 mgs Xanax last me 3-5 months now and I am not on any other meds.
This gives me great hope 
love Meryl — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi Kathi! How nice to see your name on my screen again. And your PD is cured….WOW! Do you think it would help us all to get a divorce, would that be Da Cure? 
) Jon’s death was quite a blow to all of us who knew him, the other day when looking for an email addy in my *address book* I realized that he was still in there and I deleted his addy which almost felt like deleting *him* once again in RL… Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings! If you were here prior to 2000, I’m popping in to say hello! Jackie, Philip, etc., you’d have known me by a different nick (FromBuffalo) but it’s ME and I’m still alive (Well, most days at least). I’m happy to report that my panic disorder is GONE and that is not a joke. Lucky for me, it was situational and once I *divorced* that situation, I never had another P/A and it’s been about 4 years. Sure, the anxiety is ever present but a one month script of .5 mgs Xanax last me 3-5 months now and I am not on any other meds. At present, I’m in need of a much more thorough and current check up in regard to stress/anxiety/depression(?)and may possibly have to enter a sleep disorder clinic before ruling out the possibility of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I popped in to #anx/pan Irc chat this weekend for the first time in ages and was overwhelmed with grief by the news I received there… It made me realize how important many of you here were to me during those times when I needed it most. Although it’s been a while and I’m not in touch anymore, I wanted to return albeit however briefly and say thank you. I’ll always remember the friends I made in usenet and think of you often. Post me an update if you can. Hope you are all well. Kathi — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
:Greetings! :If you were here prior to 2000, I’m popping in to say hello! Jackie, 
hilip, etc., you’d have known me by a different nick (FromBuffalo) :but it’s ME and I’m still alive (Well, most days at least). Dear Kathi, How wonderful to see you here! Great news about the panic being gone. How are your two boys doing? I hope well. Are you still living in Buffalo? Hope you stick around {{{{{Kathi}}}}} Jackie ~*~Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain~*~ ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Dear Kathi, I am glad to hear from you after all these years. I have often wondered how your situation ended up, since the last time you checked in you were laying low due to the divorce. All is well here, I am just in lurk mode most of the time, but my anxiety and panic seem to be pretty much under control for a couple of years now. The news of your panic disappearing is great news, and I am glad to hear it. I hope you keep in touch. Why don’t you stick around for a while? We promise not to bite. d
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings! If you were here prior to 2000, I’m popping in to say hello! Jackie, Philip, etc., you’d have known me by a different nick (FromBuffalo) but it’s ME and I’m still alive (Well, most days at least). I’m happy to report that my panic disorder is GONE and that is not a joke. Lucky for me, it was situational and once I *divorced* that situation, I never had another P/A and it’s been about 4 years. Sure, the anxiety is ever present but a one month script of .5 mgs Xanax last me 3-5 months now and I am not on any other meds. At present, I’m in need of a much more thorough and current check up in regard to stress/anxiety/depression(?)and may possibly have to enter a sleep disorder clinic before ruling out the possibility of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I popped in to #anx/pan Irc chat this weekend for the first time in ages and was overwhelmed with grief by the news I received there… It made me realize how important many of you here were to me during those times when I needed it most. Although it’s been a while and I’m not in touch anymore, I wanted to return albeit however briefly and say thank you. I’ll always remember the friends I made in usenet and think of you often. Post me an update if you can. Hope you are all well. Kathi — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Dear Kathi, I am glad to hear from you after all these years. I have often wondered how your situation ended up, since the last time you checked in you were laying low due to the divorce. All is well here, I am just in lurk mode most of the time, but my anxiety and panic seem to be pretty much under control for a couple of years now. The news of your panic disappearing is great news, and I am glad to hear it. I hope you keep in touch. Why don’t you stick around for a while? We promise not to bite. d
Hi again <<HUGS It was so nice to hear from you guys (and gals!). I can hardly believe it’s been 4 or possibly 5 years since I *lived here*. I don’t know where the time has gone. So many things in life have changed, and others, well, they seem to have stayed stagnant. I’ve been reading a few threads over the last few days and it sounds rather trite when I say my panic disorder disappeared. A recent thread asked why does panic seem to appear in your twenties? My first P/A was after having my first child and waking up from anesthesia at age 24. Looking back, I have to believe I was afflicted with the all-mighty anxiety disorfer long before that and always will be to some varying extent. Sporadic P/A’s over the next few years and then WHAM!, they quadrupled both in number and intensity by 1997 and into 1998. Although I never quite let on, there were things in my marriage that were just not right. Having been married 15 years at that point, I had no idea how to make the panic stop and pretend nothing was wrong. In order for me to emotionally survive, I had to go on the Paxil/Xanax combo for a while and end the marriage. Surely I was pre-disposed to panic to begin with, but to have let someone else pull my strings and press my buttons to the point of causing the actual attacks, still amazes me. I was systematically being destroyed as a person, but the fighter in me now knows how true what they say about "Fight or Flight" is. My boys are finally doing better. The divorce was shear hell on them as well as me. They are now turning 13 & 18 and the eldest has lived with his Dad since May of this year for a multitude of reasons. It would be remiss of me to not mention that my former (post divorce) boyfriend (does that make sense?!) welcomed another little boy into this world who is now turning two. Although we are no longer together, we get along very well and co-parent as best we can. So, here I find myself at nearly 42 years of age, single parenting a teenager and a very active two yr. old and I am exhausted! Having just acquired health insurance two weeks ago after having none for two years, I am off to the doc tomorrow for a full check-up and most likely, quite a bit of blood work. On going symptoms are fatigue to the point of exhaustion. I’ve been doing as much research as I can on the overlapping symptoms of depression /benzo withdrawal/ and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. If a one month supply of .5 mgs Xanax lasts me 3-5 motnhs, I can’t see how I could possibly suffer from benzo withdrawal. Likewise, I exhibit some signs of depression, but not the ones typically associated with it such as saddness, crying, or hopelessness. All I know is that I feel like my head is in a fog most days and no amount of sleep helps. I get weak, have slowed speech, feel off balance, have no energy, poor memory and concentration etc. I’ll try to start another thread later tonight on my findings. Perhaps someone can shed some light or their experience on this for me. If I didn’t feel so tired all the time, I would probably be 90% *fine* :-) I feel like I am welcoming myself back home. It feels good to be amoungst friends. Kath (who is an open book and always was!) — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi Kath, I’m not sure if I remember you. Are you in the photo gallery ? Do you remember my name ? I tried to make it easy to remember : ) Welcome back (((((Kath))))) Take care, Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi Kath, I’m not sure if I remember you. Do you remember my name? I tried to make it easy to remember : )
I think we may have crossed paths before. I do remember a Tony, but I’m not sure if it’s *you* or not Actually, now that I have been reading more threads, several of the names are familiar to me. As a postscript Tony, I’m sorry that you’ve have some rough days lately. If it helps any, I can see you have many friends here that care about you. I can also tell you are a fighter and an inquisitive soul Are you in the photo gallery ?
No, I didn’t know there was one. Where is it?! That’s what I get for staying away too long I suppose! Welcome back (((((Kath))))) Take care, Tony
Thank you Tony! Better days are ahead for ALL of us.. Kath — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Are you in the photo gallery ? No, I didn’t know there was one. Where is it?!
Kath, the ASAP photo gallery is still up, but the person who formerly managed it for us is no longer able to do so, so there are a number of recent members who aren’t represented (and some oldies who no longer hang out here). But you can still see a lot of the regular if you go to: http://www.geocities.com/asapphotogallery/ xxoo Anne — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
:So, here I find myself at nearly 42 years of age, single parenting a :teenager and a very active two yr. old and I am exhausted! Having just :acquired health insurance two weeks ago after having none for two :years, I am off to the doc tomorrow for a full check-up and most :likely, quite a bit of blood work. That is wonderful you had another child! Good luck with your appt tomorrow. Hopefully you will get some answers. :On going symptoms are fatigue to the point of exhaustion. I’ve been :doing as much research as I can on the overlapping symptoms of :depression /benzo withdrawal/ and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. If a one :month supply of .5 mgs Xanax lasts me 3-5 motnhs, I can’t see how I :could possibly suffer from benzo withdrawal. Likewise, I exhibit some :signs of depression, but not the ones typically associated with it :such as saddness, crying, or hopelessness. All I know is that I feel :like my head is in a fog most days and no amount of sleep helps. I get :weak, have slowed speech, feel off balance, have no energy, poor :memory and concentration etc. Wow…..a lot of what you describe sounds like what I felt like when I had hypothyroidism. How long have you been feeling like this? I was diagnosed two years after having my youngest daughter. I felt like crap for so long but just passed it off to running after a toddler 24/7, one that never slept through the night They say is isn`t uncommon for pregnancy and the post-partum period to trigger thyroid problems. My sister was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism a few months after she had her first child. I had all the symptoms you described……my anxiety also went through the roof, I was depressed, bruised easily, my hair was thinning, lost my appetite. A few months before I was diagnosed, I had a lump in my throat…….it was so bad I couldn`t sleep on my right side. One little pill taken daily has made a world of a difference in how I feel. Insist they test your thyroid. :I feel like I am welcoming myself back home. It feels good to be :amoungst friends. It`s good to have you back {{{{{Kathi}}}}} Jackie ~*~Nature made us individuals, as she did the flowers and the pebbles; but we are afraid to be peculiar, and so our society resembles a bag of marbles, or a string of mold candles. Why should we all dress after the same fashion? The frost never paints my windows twice alike~*~ ~ Lydia Maria Child ~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
