Any poets with a sense of humour – CPAP
Question:
It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; you know, like….. There once was …………. I was going to say keep them clean enough to tell your grandmother, but if your grandmother was anything like mine, that wouldn’t be a good test. <g> When it comes to something like this, I’m about as creative as a rock. Now is your chance to be immortalized! Regards Lee in Toronto ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News ==———- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–
Response:
> It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?)
Great idea! I’m still trying to find someone to draw that cartoon for us too……. the "trick or treat" one – i love the idea I also need everyone to put in their opinions of the various masks/cpaps they’ve used!! http://www.anchorweb.com.au/sleepdisorders/cpap.htm (*looks at everyone* HINT HINT) — Beth in Australia =================== FAQ for alt.support.sleep-disorder can be found here http://www.anchorweb.com.au/sleepdisorders this site is a work in progress – feel free to submit info/articles
Response:
You’re probably asking for it here. After all the limerick is the second lowest form of humor (after the pun). There once was a fellow who snored A practice his wife quite deplored. He put a hose on his head When he went off to bed Now his love life is somewhat restored. Minus Lee Babcock <leebabc…@pathcom.com> wrote in news:3E4929EB.B9F9D0D5@pathcom.com: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep > related humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > you know, like….. There once was …………. > I was going to say keep them clean enough to tell your grandmother, > but if your grandmother was anything like mine, that wouldn’t be a > good test. <g> > When it comes to something like this, I’m about as creative as a rock. > Now is your chance to be immortalized! > Regards > Lee in Toronto > ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News > ==———- > http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the > World! > —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers > =—–
Response:
Lee Babcock wrote: > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > humour to make it through.
Lee, I am no poet either, but maybe this will do for now: >My best buddy is an engineer, a typical nerd with few outside interests. >One day I saw him riding a nice shiney ten-speed, and I flagged him over >to ask where he got it. Told me he was sitting in a remote spot on the >local campus eating his lunch (works in the university CE dept), and he’d >noticed a woman riding around the bike-paths. She had, he said, a certain >look in her eye as she went past, though how he recognized that look I’m >not sure. Said she’d passed him several times looking his way and then >suddenly she stopped, dropped bike in grass next to him, tore clothes >off and cocked a hip in his direction. She then said ‘Take what you’d >like the most’ I said, ‘So you took the BIKE?’ He replied, ‘Well, I >didn’t think her clothes would fit me.’
—————————— >What with all the sadness and trauma going >on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a >very important person which almost went un-noticed >last week. Larry La Prise, the >man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93. >The most traumatic part for his family was >getting him into the coffin. >They put his left leg in – and then the >trouble started…..
——————————————- AGE IS A FUNNY THING Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I’m 4 and half." You’re never 36 and a half, but you’re 4 and a half going on 5! That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. "How old are you?" "I’m gonna be 16." You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21. Even the words sounds like a ceremony–you BECOME 21. YES!!!! But then you turn 30. Ooohhh, what happened here?? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED. We had to throw him out. There’s no fun now. What’s wrong?? What changed??? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away… You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50…my dreams are gone… You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 and then you MAKE IT to 60…Whew! I didn’t think I’d make it. You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60, and by then you’ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70! After that, it’s a day-by-day thing. You HIT Wednesday, you get into your 80s, you HIT lunch. I mean my grandmother won’t even buy green bananas: "Well it’s an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one." And it doesn’t end there…Into the 90’s, you start going backwards: I was JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens, if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again: I’m 100 and a half!! Age is a funny thing. Mikey’s Thot for the Day: Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. =============================================== ** The two best physicians of them all — Dr. Laughter and Dr. Sleep. – Gregory Dean Jr. ==============
Response:
In article <3E4929EB.B9F9D…@pathcom.com>, Lee Babcock <leebabc…@pathcom.com> wrote: > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > you know, like….. There once was ………….
There once was a lady on CPAP…. — _Deirdre http://deirdre.net A: No. Q: Should I include quotations after my reply?
Response:
Charles Minus wrote: > You’re probably asking for it here. After all the limerick is the second > lowest form of humor (after the pun). > There once was a fellow who snored > A practice his wife quite deplored. > He put a hose on his head > When he went off to bed > Now his love life is somewhat restored. > Minus
Charles…… it made me laugh! Limericks have been found going back thousands of years and yes, some are very ‘colourful’. In my opinion, they should at least make you smile and also conjur up images that add to the humour. Now, for your next composition…….. Regards Lee in Toronto ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News ==———- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -paula wrote: > Lee Babcock wrote: > > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > > humour to make it through. > Lee, I am no poet either, but maybe this will do for now: > >My best buddy is an engineer, a typical nerd with few outside interests. > >One day I saw him riding a nice shiney ten-speed, and I flagged him over > >to ask where he got it. Told me he was sitting in a remote spot on the > >local campus eating his lunch (works in the university CE dept), and he’d > >noticed a woman riding around the bike-paths. She had, he said, a certain > >look in her eye as she went past, though how he recognized that look I’m > >not sure. Said she’d passed him several times looking his way and then > >suddenly she stopped, dropped bike in grass next to him, tore clothes > >off and cocked a hip in his direction. She then said ‘Take what you’d > >like the most’ I said, ‘So you took the BIKE?’ He replied, ‘Well, I > >didn’t think her clothes would fit me.’
I like it and bet he taught accounting! <g> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> —————————— > >What with all the sadness and trauma going > >on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a > >very important person which almost went un-noticed > >last week. Larry La Prise, the > >man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93. > >The most traumatic part for his family was > >getting him into the coffin. > >They put his left leg in – and then the > >trouble started….. > ——————————————- > AGE IS A FUNNY THING > Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is > when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about > aging that you think in fractions. > "How old are you?" > "I’m 4 and half." > You’re never 36 and a half, but you’re 4 and a half going on 5! That’s the > key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the > next number. > "How old are you?" > "I’m gonna be 16." > You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16. > And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21. Even the words > sounds like a ceremony–you BECOME 21. YES!!!! But then you turn 30. Ooohhh, > what happened here?? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED. We had to > throw him out. There’s no fun now. What’s wrong?? What changed??? > You BECOME 21, > you TURN 30, > then you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away… > You BECOME 21, > you TURN 30, > you’re PUSHING 40, > you REACH 50…my dreams are gone… > You BECOME 21, > you TURN 30, > you’re PUSHING 40, > you REACH 50 > and then you MAKE IT to 60…Whew! I didn’t think I’d make it. > You BECOME 21, > you TURN 30, > you’re PUSHING 40, > you REACH 50, > you MAKE IT to 60, and by then you’ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70! > After that, it’s a day-by-day thing. You HIT Wednesday, you get into your > 80s, you HIT lunch. > I mean my grandmother won’t even buy green bananas: "Well it’s an investment, > you know, and maybe a bad one." > And it doesn’t end there…Into the 90’s, you start going backwards: I was > JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens, if you make it over 100, you become a > little kid again: I’m 100 and a half!! > Age is a funny thing. > Mikey’s Thot for the Day: > Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. > =============================================== > ** The two best physicians of them all — Dr. Laughter and Dr. Sleep. > – Gregory Dean Jr. > ==============
All good for a smile. Regards. Lee in Toronto ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News ==———- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–
Response:
I awoke late last night in my bed With a grandiose scheme in my head For scaling Mount Everest But it wasn’t my cleverest So I went to the bathroom instead Graham Lester – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> There once was a fellow who snored > A practice his wife quite deplored. > He put a hose on his head > When he went off to bed > Now his love life is somewhat restored.
Response:
in article 3E4929EB.B9F9D…@pathcom.com, Lee Babcock at leebabc…@pathcom.com wrote on 2/11/2003 9:50 AM: > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > you know, like….. There once was ………….
Anyone want to finish this one? A woman who slept in Newport Would snore and awake with a snort She had a sleep study Now the hose is her buddy. Duh dada duh dada duh dum. Anna
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Anna LeBlanc wrote: > in article 3E4929EB.B9F9D…@pathcom.com, Lee Babcock at > leebabc…@pathcom.com wrote on 2/11/2003 9:50 AM: > > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related > > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > > you know, like….. There once was …………. > Anyone want to finish this one? > A woman who slept in Newport > Would snore and awake with a snort > She had a sleep study > Now the hose is her buddy. > Duh dada duh dada duh dum. > Anna
And her husband has no snores to report. But now she hisses from her exhaust port. That’s all I can think of. Regards Lee in Toronto ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News ==———- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–
Response:
"Lee Babcock" <leebabc…@pathcom.com> wrote in message
news:3E4BE02C.2878CF6A@pathcom.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Anna LeBlanc wrote: > > in article 3E4929EB.B9F9D…@pathcom.com, Lee Babcock at > > leebabc…@pathcom.com wrote on 2/11/2003 9:50 AM: > > > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > > > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep related > > > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > > > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > > > you know, like….. There once was …………. > > Anyone want to finish this one? > > A woman who slept in Newport > > Would snore and awake with a snort > > She had a sleep study > > Now the hose is her buddy. > > Duh dada duh dada duh dum. > > Anna > And her husband has no snores to report. > But now she hisses from her exhaust port. > That’s all I can think of. > Regards > Lee in Toronto
But the mask rubs terribly on her wart. Robert — "If God had intended for us to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day." (perform an exorcism for e-mail reply)
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Robert wrote: > "Lee Babcock" <leebabc…@pathcom.com> wrote in message > news:3E4BE02C.2878CF6A@pathcom.com… > > Anna LeBlanc wrote: > > > in article 3E4929EB.B9F9D…@pathcom.com, Lee Babcock at > > > leebabc…@pathcom.com wrote on 2/11/2003 9:50 AM: > > > > It has been a long hard winter, at least in Toronto and we need some > > > > humour to make it through. Also, Beth needs some CPAP/OSA/Sleep > related > > > > humour for the web site (don’t you Beth?) > > > > So, is there anyone out there who is clever enough to write limericks; > > > > you know, like….. There once was …………. > > > Anyone want to finish this one? > > > A woman who slept in Newport > > > Would snore and awake with a snort > > > She had a sleep study > > > Now the hose is her buddy. > > > Duh dada duh dada duh dum. > > > Anna > > And her husband has no snores to report. > > But now she hisses from her exhaust port. > > That’s all I can think of. > > Regards > > Lee in Toronto > But the mask rubs terribly on her wart. > Robert
Robert…… I didn’t want to mention that! <g> Regards Lee in Toronto ———–== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Uncensored Usenet News ==———- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–= Over 100,000 Newsgroups – Unlimited Fast Downloads – 19 Servers =—–
Response:
On Thu, 13 Feb 2003 10:30:21 -0700, Anna LeBlanc <lebla…@qwest.net> wrote: >Anyone want to finish this one? > A woman who slept in Newport > Would snore and awake with a snort > She had a sleep study > Now the hose is her buddy. > Duh dada duh dada duh dum.
She now feels like she could cavort!
Response:
<<<<<Anyone want to finish this one?
